A Night In The Shakespeare Ward (Video)

Marina, Tongue of Cortes

The Holy Weed (Video)

Liz & Lez Strata

A NIGHT IN THE
 SHAKESPEARE WARD
by
Bert Glick

Shakespeare reincarnates and decides it's safer and saner hanging out in a psyche ward, where he encounters a Dr. Freud figure and the nurse who embodies the women in his plays.

 

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Click on ticket to view
Excerpt 1 from the Video


Click on ticket to view
Excerpt 2 from the Video


 

 

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MARINA
TONGUE OF CORTES
by
Bert Glick & Debra Zike

The conquest of Mexico through the eyes of a young indian slave girl, Malinche, who crucially helped Cortes destroy Aztec civilization.

Excerpt(1): Act 1, Scene 6

  (LIGHTS UP ON FEMALE CHORUS -- ONE ACTRESS)

FEMALE CHORUS

On the eve of her fertility
Mother menstruated on the mountains and the streams,
And the blood -- before it seeped underground and solidified --
Was bleached by the sun
From red to
  GOLD!

(EXITS. ENTER MALE CHORUS --ONE ACTOR--SPORTING A SPANISH HAT MIMICKING THE SOLDIERS' GOLD LUST AND THEN IMITATES CORTES IN HIS OPENING LINE.)

MALE CHORUS

'And of course the Word of the Lord.'
  (He genuflicts)
In the beginning was the Word and the Word was
'Sin.' And the original sin was greed --"Let there
be a medium of exchange other than bodily
fluids." --And there was the God of gold.
  (Indicates the entrance of Female Chorus.)

(ENTER FEMALE CHORUS WHO IS WRAPPED IN OUTLANDISH GOLD LAMINATED ATTIRE THAT GLITTERS OUTRAGEOUSLY.)

FEMALE CHORUS

Goddess, to you. I'm what you lust for incarnate. I
make you homicidally mad with desire. How I glitter to you.

MALE CHORUS

  (Throws himself at her feet)
Oh how I worship the tunnel from which you are mined.
I would kill for those nuggets.

FEMALE CHORUS

Only these nuggets can cure the disease of your heart.

  (LIGHTS OUT.)


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Excerpt(2):Act 2, Scene 4

DIAZ'S VOICE (OFF STAGE)

Later that night in the palace of Montezuma's father.

CORTES (SITTING IN LIGHT ON A LOW STOOL)

Malinch!. . .Malinch!

MARINA (OFF STAGE)

My captain calls? I thought nature calls.

CORTES

It does. I need you.

MARINA (OFF STAGE)

Need me?

CORTES

Yes. How does this contraption work?

MARINA (ON STAGE)

Oh yes. I have heard of these water closets that are only in royal palaces. Only the highest born bottoms have warmed that spot for you, my lord.

CORTES

 I feel enthroned. But have you heard how to use them?

MARINA

Yes my lord. Just do what comes naturally, then twist the little pipe above you and a splash of water will take it all down that vessel you are sitting on.

CORTES

Into the room below?

MARINA

No, my lord, into pipes that carry it to pools of water outside, where the manure men dredge it to fertilize farms.

CORTES

How appetizing. Not even king Carlos has one of these.

MARINA

Our water closets will not teach you the Aztec language, my captain, but your muskets and cannon will teach us to speak Spanish for a thousand years.

CORTES

Amen.

(A LOUD FLUSH OF WATER IS HEARD. LIGHTS OUT.)


THE HOLY WEED
by
Bert Glick
 &
 Alan Berg

A play for the liberation of the cannabis plant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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LIZ AND LEZ STRATA
by
Bert Glick

A one act emasculation comedy for peace. (Loosely adapted from Lysistrata.)

 

SCENE 7

(CALVARY.)
(ENTER ANDROGENY, COSTUMED UNMISTAKABLY AS A FEMALE JESUS IN LOIN CLOTH, CROWN OF THORNS, ETC.)

ANDROGENY
2000 A.D.
The 3rd coming
Which cheek shall I turn to make heaven more accessible?
I am Jesette
The Princess of Peace
Queen of the Jews
Renegade Daughter of God
Angel Guardian against HIV,
Pagan sister of Christ

Every millennium
my Sibling comes again
But doesn't get involved.
This time, more than kicketh butt
He'll cast out devils who sweat out devils
in His name to get elected
Or other various nefarious purposes
And sometimes my brother Jesus and I come again
to visit Vishnu and Buddha and Shiva and Isis
and the rest of the God Gang
Just to cross dress divinities
Imbiding the nectars of forbidden fruits, flowers, fungus,
plants and roots of Creation in celestial bacchanalia
on this terra firma

I can see it now
Black leather nuns and white laced popes dancing
in attendance when the daughter of man comes in her
glory, and all the angels around her surround her,
(She climaxes.)
Does anyone have a cigarette?
Will the real Jehovah stand up?
Shakespeare and Leonardo came back again once,
but got their guts spattered in Vietnam

2000 A.D.
Millennium in a microchip
Holocaust in a hologram
At the DNA Lounge
In case you're wondering
I'm still the MC-square of cloned Creation
and a Botticelli Goddess of genetic engineers
We splice any chromosomes you want -- Those of-us
at the Splice Of Life Gene Pool collective

  The 3rd Coming


 
            

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