Chapter
10
Boo
Mansion
Mario
and Luigi skid to a halt. A huge gate surrounds the mansion. The gate is a good
five-hundred feet away from the huge house. The gate is made of thin wood,
painted to look like a rusty iron gate. On it is a sign that has the words
painted on it. They say, “BEWARE!
Enter if you dare…” The words
are painted in rainbow spray paint.
“Lack
of budget.” Luigi whispers to Mario. Mario nods. Mario reaches towards the
gate to open it, but the moment he touches it, it falls over.
“Lack
of budget indeed.” Mario says.
“Well,
at least we can get in.” Luigi says hopefully.
“Dang
it. Umm, I mean… yay. All right, now we can rescue Peach (Oh, why did I let
Luigi talk me into this?).
They
both carefully step over the wooden gate, careful not to get splinters. Then
they continue walk onto the path leading to the mansion. All of a sudden,
“scary” music starts playing from poorly hidden speakers disguised to look
like rocks. The “scary” music is actually the soundtrack from the Kero-Kero
Sewers. Then a couple bats “fly” down a wire. The wire brakes and the bats
fall onto the ground. Then cardboard Boos and monsters pop up from behind
bushes.
“This
is supposed to scare us!? HA! Only a very moronic person would be scared by
this! Even
“I
WANT MY MOMMY!” He screams.
“Come
on Mario, let’s go.”
“But
I don’t wanna!”
“Life’s
tough, get a helmet.” Upon saying this Luigi lightly punches Mario on the top
of his head.
“Okay,
okay. I’ll go.”
Then
after one whole page of writing, they finally go into the next castle.
Luigi
looks around. This place looks very familiar to him… Then he remembers. It is
the mansion from Luigi’s Mansion (Luigi’s second starring role and first
appearance in a GCN game). Luigi smiles and turns to Mario. “Hey Mario…”
He says with a hint of humor and sarcasm. “Does this place look familiar?”
“Ummm,
no? Oh, fine! I know! I got kidnapped here! GET OFF MY CASE ALREADY!”
“Fine,
but which door do we go in? There’s so many!”
“Well,
let’s just open them and find out!”
Mario
goes to the nearest door and tries to open it, but to his disappointment, it’s
locked. The Mario Bros. check out all the doors and find them all locked.
“Well,
what do we do now?” Mario says out loud. His question is answered (as always).
The floor they’re standing on disappears and they fall for thirty seconds and
twenty seven milliseconds. They fall and land on some sort of plant thing. Mario
knows exactly what that plant thing is and jumps off of it immediately. He knew
it was a Sporen Piranha Plant. Luigi doesn’t know and lies down for a bit. Bad
move. Root-like things grab Luigi and start to constrict him.
“HEEEEEEEEELP!”
“Don’t
struggle. It’ll only kill you faster.”
“WELL
THAT’S A NICE THOUGHT!”
Mario
also knows that it hates fire. Mario can only use fireballs if he has a fire
flower. Luckily he spots one right next to the Sporen Plant. He grabs it and
shoots flames at the plants. It shrivels up and drops Luigi. Luigi gets up and
dusts himself off. They continue as nothing had happened.
They
reach a door, and open it (what else would you do with a door?). In it is a room
with platforms and gaps. In other words, there is a gap, then a platform, then
another gap, and a higher platform and so on and so forth. To make things worse,
there are huge green bubbles floating around. They jump across the platforms and
dodge the bubbles. They come to the last platform to discover a warp pipe there.
“I
bet this leads to Bowser.” Luigi says.
“You’re
probably right. I know why he did this; so that we can’t run away.”
“Well
what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
Luigi
jumps into the pipe. Mario follows. Mario lands on a platform. There is a long
bridge made of brick. Beneath it is an endless pit. Another platform is at the
end of the bridge. But where’s Luigi? He is trapped in one of those green
bubbles. He is at the platform opposite of Mario. Bowser is also at the platform
opposite of Mario.
“MARIO!
I won’t be pushed off this time. You can’t fool me!”
Mario
gets an idea and runs three quarters of the way across the bridge. Bowser tries
to blow flames at Mario, but the flames die out just in front of Mario. Bowser
takes a step towards Mario. Mario takes a step away from Bowser. Bowser,
realizing that this process will continue, jumps up high in the air (don’t ask
me how he can jump. He did jump pretty high in SSBM) and comes down with all of
his might. Mario rolls beneath Bowser just before he lands. Where Bowser hit the
bridge, it falls apart. Mario had already reached the other side though, so
Bowser was the only one the bridge took down.
“All
right! That’s the third time! Luigi should be released from the bubble right
about now.”
Luigi
is released from the bubble. Another bubble floats right in front of them and
pops. Out comes a sack. It undoes it self and out pops, you guessed it… a
toad.
“Thank
you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“NOT
AGAIN!” the brothers yell in unison.
This
time Mario doesn’t hesitate. He picks up the toad and throws him into the
bottomless pit. Turns out it really isn’t bottomless and the toad hits the
bottom, right were it is a weak spot in the foundation (who builds these
castles?). The castle starts to collapse.
“OH
NO!” Luigi yells, “HOW DO WE GET OUT NOW?!”
As
if an answer to his question, one of those bubbles passes in front of them. They
jump in. The bubble somehow takes them outside. They watch the mansion collapse.
Mario
looks at Luigi, “Well. We did it. Again.”
“Yup.
Let’s go back to
“Okay.
Let’s go.”
They
pass the cardboard boos and monsters and jump over the wooden gate and into the
forever forest. They find their way out and enter