Chapter
4
The
Castle
Mario and Luigi enter, Mario of course, goes first. The first room in the in the castle has no enemies in it, no lava, no obstacles, no nothing. Mario is confused, because the first room always has at least something. Luigi shrugs and continues. But Mario stops him. “Don’t you know that there is always, and I mean always, something in the first room. I think that they’re trying to trap us again. Be careful Luigi, it might be a trap.”
Upon hearing this, Luigi starts screaming at Mario, “AND WHAT WAS I REPEATEDLY TELLING YOU AT PLEASANT PATH! ‘Careful Mario, it might be a trap’. BUT NOOOO! YOU’RE ALL LIKE ‘Yeah right. Like anything is going to hurt me’. SO YOU DON’T YOU BE CAREFUL, YOU, YOU, YOU… SELF-ABSORBED PLUMBER!
Mario didn’t hear any of this though because he was looking in a pocket mirror at himself. “I am sooo handsome.”. Good thing Luigi didn’t see or hear this or he would have gone ballistic.
“Come on Luigi. Let’s go!” Mario and Luigi rush into the next room and almost falls into a pit of lava. “Now that’s more like it!” Mario yells.
“WHAT! YOU WANT LAVA PITS! YOU WANT TO DIE!”
“No, I don’t. I’m the main character. Main characters never die. You are a secondary character. Secondary characters usually die. You see, you are very annoying sometimes…”
“YOU WANT TO KILL ME?! COME AT GET SOME, PLUMBER!” Luigi screams at the top of his voice. Just as they are about to lock in mortal combat, a huge stream of fire whistles over their head.
“That must be Bowser! He must have the princess!” After saying this, Mario, using his great jumping ability, jumps over the lava pit. Well, almost. He jumps too short of it and hangs onto the ledge for dear life. Not many people know this, but Luigi is a better jumper than Mario. So while Mario’s legs flail over the edge, Luigi jumps over the pit with ease, and then helps Mario up. But being Mario, he is too stuck up to admit he had help and insists that he got himself up by himself.
“Look Luigi!” Mario points behind Luigi to a red door with black dots on it. “It’s the boss door.”
Mario makes toward the door but Luigi beats him to it. “It’s my turn! You’ve fought all those monsters without even asking for my help. I get to fight Bowser!” Good thing Luigi went first, well good for Mario anyway. The moment Luigi entered the door, chains dropped from the ceiling, wrapped around Luigi, and then pinned him to the ceiling. Mario enters the room, looks left then right looking for his brother, then looks up. “What are you doing up there?”
“Don’t play stupid Mario!”.
Mario didn’t get trapped because Bowser only planned on one plumber coming. Mario looked around the room. It looked very familiar. Then it struck him. It was the same boss room from his first adventure (Super Mario Bros. for the NES)! A suspended bridge was suspended over a lake of lava. An ax was at the other end of the bridge. A little chamber sat beyond the ax. All of a sudden, Bowser drops from the ceiling. Without a word Bowser starts towards Mario, blowing flames as he advances. With relative ease, Mario jumps over Bowser. Then Mario grabs the ax and cuts the rope that supports the bridge. Bowser falls into the lava.
Mario thinks, “Well that takes care of Bowser, but what about my brother?” His question is answered. The chains pinning Luigi to the ceiling let go and he plummets towards the lava pit. “LUIGI!” Mario yells. Luigi is smart though and he brought a metal cap. He puts it on and becomes solid metal. So the lava doesn’t hurt him but he sinks like a rock. Mario thinks that his brother is lost. He starts crying. But all of a sudden, Luigi jumps out from the lava, still metal. The metal cap wears off and still crying, Mario runs to his brother and hugs him.
Then the brothers notice a brown bag in the corner of the chamber. The bag starts squirming and the rope binding the bag falls off. The bag opens and out pops… a toad. The toad says, “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Mario yells.
“Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to another castle.”
“No, you don’t understand. These toads were on my first adventure. I had to go to seven castles with these toads saying the same thing, ‘Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.’. They are probably going to do the same thing!
“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“Shut up you toad!”
“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!”
“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE” Mario runs to the castle wall and bangs his head against it repeatedly. Unfortunately, he hit the wall where the foundation was weak so the entire castle falls down on them. All three of them survive. Luigi’s head is the first to poke out of the rubble, then Mario’s, then Toad’s.
“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”
“THAT’S IT!” Mario yells.
“Thank you for rescuing me, but our prin…”
WHAM! Mario hits the toad as hard as he can.
“Thank you for…”
WHACK! Another hit.
“Thank you fo…”
WHACK!
“Thank y…”
WHAM!
“Tha…”
WHACK! A slight pause, then…
“Thank you for re…”
WHAM! WHACK! SLAM! BAM! Mario hits the toad with such force it is forced up from the pile of rubble and is hurled through the air. The toad lands on his face. Mario and Luigi walk over to the toad. “Is it dead?” Luigi asks Mario. “I don’t know”. Mario uses his foot to kick the toad over. All of a sudden, the toad’s eyes pop open. “Thank you for rescu…” Mario gives an almighty kick to the toad, knocking him out.
“Well obviously we can’t ask that toad where the next castle is. Let’s go back to Mushroom kingdom to search for more clues.” Luigi says.
“I agree. Can we go someplace to eat, I’m hungry.” Mario adds.
“Oh fine. But when we look at the menu, don’t say ‘I’ll take one of each’ like you did last time.” Luigi teases Mario.
As they’re walking away from the rubble a voice yells out, “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”. Mario picks up a rock and throws it behind his back. “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another ca…” WHAM! The rock finds it's mark and the toad becomes unconscious once again.