Tetraforce attempts to interview Bowser
(5 minutes before the show…)
(Back stage, Tetraforce is getting ready for the interview with Bowser.)
Tetraforce: I have a feeling this will be an OK interview. I bet Bowser won’t answer the question that well. Wow! Nothing happened 5 minutes before the show!
(All of sudden, the backstage door is kicked open. Two policemen come in.) Tetraforce: I DIDN’T ROB THE STORE! I SWEAR! NO ONE SAW ME DO IT! YOU HAVE NO PROOF!
1st policeman: What are you talking about?
Tetraforce: Never mind.
2nd policeman: You’re coming to court.
Tetraforce: WHAT?! WHY?!
1st policeman: You’re being sued by Homer Simpson, Montgomery Burns, and Dr. Nick. Sorry, but we have to take you in.
(The two policemen drag Tetraforce out the back door.)
Tetraforce: NOOOOO!
(Bowser walks in after the party of three is gone.)
Bowser: Man. Where’s my interviewer. I came down here for nothing! HEY! A SNACK TABLE!
Tetraforce interviews the Judge?
(5 minutes before the trail…)
Tetraforce: Man, how’d I get into this mess? Oh yeah. Well, here goes!
(Tetraforceenters the Jury room and is met by the clapping of the audience that attends all of his interviews. A couple grovel poundings and shouts of “Order in the court!” silences this.)
Judge: Will the accused please take his seat.
(Tetraforce sits down. His defense is Mario. He then looks over at the prosecution, which is made up of none other than Crash Bandicoot.)
Judge: Court is now in session.
Crash: As the jury can see from this recording of previous interviews, Tetraforce has stolen trademark lines from three Simpson characters. These Simpson characters are Dr. Nick, Mr. Burns, and Homer Simpson himself. Let us take a look at these tapes.
(The lights in the courtroom dim down and a screen comes down from the ceiling. The footage from the “Michael interviews Luigi” plays on the screen.
Tetraforce enters the stage and the audience claps for real this time. The reason that the audience is clapping is due to Tetraforce’s success in his last interview.)
Tetraforce: Hi everybody.
Dr. Nick: I’m going to sue you for that!
Tetraforce: Whatever. Anyway, my interviewee is Mario’s brother, Luigi!
(The footage stops, then another tape plays. This time it’s from “Tetraforce interviews Peach.)
Tetraforce: Hello Princess Peach. Can I please call you Peach?
Peach: No.
(Tetraforce points above Peach’s seat. She looks up and sees a Thwomp. Tetraforce then points to his hand, which is holding a button.)
Peach: (very quickly) Yes. That’s fine. You can call me Peach.
Tetraforce: Excellent.
Mr. Burns: I’m going to sue you too! (Crack) Ow. There goes my back again. Smithers!
(The tape stops, then another one plays. It’s from “Tetraforce interviews Yoshi”.)
(Tetraforce walks onstage. The crowd is clapping, cheering, whistling, and mooning. Those that are mooning are taken outside to “discuss” it with a hammer bro.)
Tetraforce: Thank you!
(Tetraforce takes his seat. Well, at least he tries to. His seat is gone. So he falls on the floor.)
Tetraforce: DOH!
Homer Simpson: I’m going to sue you too. Wait, what was I doing again? Doh!
Mr. Burns: I’ll sue you too, even though I’m a billionaire. I just like to see other people loose money and suffer. This will be… excellent.
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody.
Entire audience: Hi Dr. Nick!
Dr. Nick: I’m also gonna sue you too!
Tetraforce: Whatever. Anyway, today I will interview… Yoshi!
(The tape stops and the lights come on again. The screen goes back up to the ceiling. Crash Bandicoot starts to talk again.)
Crash: As you can see, Tetraforce stole the lines. But not only did he steal them, he didn’t care after words! I would like to call Tetraforce to the stand.
(Tetraforce goes up to the stand and a Koopa Troopa dressed in a suit goes up to him with a Bible.)
Koopa Troopa: Please place your right hand on the Bible.
(Tetraforce does so.)
Koopa Troopa: Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
Tetraforce: I do.
Judge: Proceed with questioning.
Crash: So Tetraforce; you knew that you were stealing lines from these characters?
Tetraforce: NO! It was an accident! Things just pop out! Have you ever said “Hi everybody” to anyone? Or “Excellent”? Does that mean you can’t say, “That movie was excellent”? And me saying, “Doh” is a habit.
Crash: I’ve never said “Hi everybody”. Plus, it was the way you said it and you did the hand thing too. No further questions your honor.
Judge: The defendant can be seated.
(Tetraforcegoes and sits down.)
Mario: I would like to call all three Simpson characters to the stand.
(The three people who are suing go up to the stand and three Koopas carrying Bibles go over to them.)
All three Koopas in unison: Please put your right hand on the Bible.
(All three suing people do so.) All three Koopas in unison: Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
All three suing people: I do.
Mario: So Dr. Nick, you practice medicine, correct?
Dr. Nick: Correct.
Mario: Well it just happens so that I’ve been doing some research for this case, and it appears that Dr. Nick isn’t a licensed doctor!
Audience: (gasp!)
(Mario holds up a form)
Mario: This form right here says that Dr. Nick failed his doctor entry exam. Therefore he shouldn’t be suing Tetraforce, he should be in jail!
Dr. Nick: HOW DID YOU GET THAT FORM? IT WAS IN MY HOUSE!
Mario: Moving on. Mr. Burns, you are a multi-billionaire, right?
Mr. Burns: That is correct.
Mario: Then why do you need the money. Also, as you could all clearly see in the movie clip, Mr. Burns just wanted to see Tetraforce suffer! Mr. Burns has also done bad things in the past such as making clothing out of animals hide and fur, conducting top-secret experiments to make lots of clones of Smithers, and hide a body down a “corpse hatch” that he witnessed die. He should also be in jail!
Mr. Burns: Blast! I was wondering when somebody would find that out.
Mario: Last person. Homer Simpson, I can’t even say the countless times he’s broken the law. Just to name some; smuggling sugar from across the boarder when sugar was banned from Springfield, stealing the Venus-de-Milo gummy from a candy-fair, and even trying to kill his boss. He should be sentenced to attempted murder at the least.
Judge: The accusing may be seated. The jury will now reach a verdict. There will now be a ten minute break.
(The Judge pounds the grovel.)
(ten minutes later everyone is back in.)
Judge: The jury has decided that… Tetraforceshall not be sued. But Dr. Nick shall be sentenced three years in jail for practicing medicine without a license. Montgomery Burns shall be sentenced twenty years in jail for doing bad stuff. Homer Simpson shall be sentence fifty years in jail for attempted murder. Of course there will be bail… Court adjourned!
Tetraforce: YES! Mario! How can I ever thank you?
Mario: Just interview me again.
Tetraforce: Sorry. I have to do two more people first, then I’ll interview you.
Mario: That’s okay.
Tetraforce: Why did you do this for me?
Mario: A couple reasons. First of all, you’re the one of the extremely few people who don’t make me look like an idiot, you’re a nice person, and you are a very big Nintendo fan.
Tetraforce: Well thanks. Come in next time when I hope I’ll be able to interview Bowser.
End Transmition!
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