The Mario Story

Chapter 1

The Adventure Begins

Our little story starts with the Mario Bros., Mario and Luigi, at home. Mario is stuffing himself with anything edible while Luigi is playing Super Smash Brothers Melee. Luigi is beating the tar out of Bowser (which is one of his big dreams. The other one is being more popular then Mario. The last one is to star in at least three games). The house is very quiet. The silence is then broken by Mario choking on a meatball. Then the window is broken by a brick thrown through it. The brick hits Luigi in the head. “What the!” Luigi yells as he falls over. He then notices that a note is attached to the brick. Luigi reads the paper, which is made up of cut out letters from magazines. Luigi reads to himself, “I have kidnapped the princess. Don’t even try rescuing her.”

Luigi thinks to himself, “Well it’s obviously Bowser”. Then he says to Mario, “Hey Mario, Bowser kidnapped the princess again. We have to go rescue her! Mario? Are you even paying attention?!”

“Go away!”

“But Mario, we have to rescue her!”

“Rescue who?”

“Oh for the love of-” Luigi makes toward Mario to drag him away from the table but Mario fends Luigi away with a breadstick. Luigi is shocked at fist, but then he realizes that he can finally go on an adventure by himself!

          “OK Mario. I’ll just go rescue Peach by myself”.

          Luigi is almost to the door when Mario calls to him, “Did you say Peach?”

          Luigi, still wanting to go solo, panics and says, “Um, I meant rescue Daisy. Yeah, Daisy. Not Peach, Daisy. Um, Bye!”. Luigi makes a break for the door but is grabbed by Mario’s hand. “Why didn’t you say Princess Peach in the first place?” Mario inquires.

          “Um,” Luigi answers, “I wanted to… Wait a minute. Why didn’t you want to go rescue a princess but you wanted to rescue Peach?”

          “That’s none of your business!” Mario says, blushing. “Well,” Mario continues to say, still blushing slightly, “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Luigi leaves the house, but just before Mario reaches the door, he runs back to the table, stuffs the rest of the pizza slice he was eating in his mouth, and then rushes out the door.

Chapter 2

Freaky Funguses

After a couple days of traveling, Mushroom Kingdom is in sight. Just as they’re about to reach it, five Goombas jump in their way.

          “We have you now!” the chief Goomba shouts. The chief continues, “And don’t think you can stomp on us just once to kill us! We have health-bars! Look above our heads!”. Luigi and Mario look above the Goombas' head and see an orange bar with a white boarder. The bar reads four.

          Mario says to his bro, “Hey bro. Remember Mario RPG, this is just like that. Let’s just do the same thing and we’ll be fine.”

          “I WASN’T IN MARIO RPG!” Luigi yells. “IT’S YET ANOTHER ADVENTURE YOU LEFT ME OUT OF!” The next paragraph is censored due to adult language such as “poopoo-head”.

          “O.K bro, let’s stomp these Goombas!” Mario yells.

          Mario prepares an attack. “This is something I learned from Mario RPG! ULTRA JUMP!” Mario jumps up high and comes down on each of the Goombas’ head twice, killing them.

          “Ha! They were wrong. I had to stomp on them twice!”

          Luigi mutters very quietly, “I wanted to fight. It’s not fair.” Luigi fights back tears.

          After about thirty more minutes, the brothers reach Mushroom Kingdom . “I don’t like going here,” Luigi says, “All these people are freaky mushrooms! They are walking fungus with Polka-dots on their heads!”

          Then Luigi sees a stranger who is not a freaky-deaky mushroom. “Who the heck are you?” he asks.

          The stranger replies, “I am the writer. My name is Michael. I control the story.”

          “Pssht. Yeah right.” Luigi says sarcastically.

          “I’ll prove it to you then.” Michael whips out a piece of paper and a pen (not a pencil. He hates pencils) and writes something down. “Good thing you wear green clothes,” Michael says, “now they can call you ‘Green Thumb’!” (Please pardon the extremely bad pun). All of a sudden, a flower pops out of Luigi’s hat.

          “YAAAAAAAAAAH!!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!!!!!” Luigi runs around in circles screaming. He then tries pulling the flower off but it is attached to his head. Therefore, he ends up hurting himself. “Please Michael! Take it off!”

          “Fine.” Michael writes something down and the flower disappears.

          “Well,” Mario asks, “can you tell us where Peach is being held?”

          “No. I cannot tell you that kind of information. Find it out yourself, you lazy bum.”

          Disappointed, Mario asks, “Can you at least tell us where the closest ‘All-you-can-eat’ restaurant is?”

          “Yes.” Michael points behind Mario. Mario turns around and runs to the restaurant. Luigi sighs, then follows Mario. Thirty minutes later, they are kicked out for eating all of the food. The restaurant then closes because they no longer have any food.

          “Well, that was good.” Mario remarks.

          “Yeah well that is the third time this month that we’ve, no, you’ve been kicked out of.” Luigi remarks.

          “Excuse me but I couldn’t help but hearing”.

          “Who said that?” Luigi says.

          “Me.” Luigi looks around and finds a toad (you know, those freaky funguses).

          “Peach is being held captive by Bowser.”

          “Duh.”

          “Bowser’s Castle is in the East. You must go along Pleasant Path.

          “Is it pleasant?” asks Mario. “Or is it just a nice and safe path that will lull us into a fake sense of security and then when we lest expect it some enemies will ambush us?”

          “No, now… GO!” the Toad says, almost yelling.

          “Hey Mario,” Luigi says to Mario as they’re walking away, “do you think that that deformed mushroom was telling us the truth?”.

          “Luigi, say their real name, Toad.”

          “But I don’t wanna!” Luigi whines. “But do you think that that frea-, oh fine, that toad was lying?”

          “Of course not! Why would he do that? He’s not one of Bowser’s minions or anything.”.

          However, they were wrong. As they walked away, the toad turned around to hide an evil smile. “They fell right into King Bowser’s trap. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!” The toad takes off his mask to reveal that he is a Koopa Troopa. Why he did this, I’m not sure. Seriously, if you were a spy and then yelled out “Hey everyone, I’m a spy!” you would be arrested, killed, etc. Anyway, the Koopa was arrested immediately by the MKPD (Mushroom Kingdom Police Department). But he didn’t care. He had led the two plumbers into a trap.

Chapter 3

Pleasant Path

          While Mario and Luigi were talking to the toad/Koopa, another Koopa was spraying a bottle of ‘essence de la pizza’ in a trail. Now let’s go back to the present. Mario and Luigi had been on the path for about ten minutes. “Ahhh. This path is pleasant.” Mario says.

          “I don’t know Mario. I think that this might be a trap.” But thirty minutes later, nothing had happened. There were flowers everywhere. The sun was shining everywhere. There were beautiful pools of water. Even though it wasn’t raining, a rainbow was in the sky.

          “Maybe this isn’t a trap after all.” Luigi concluded. Yet again they were wrong. Due to Mario’s excellent sense of smell, he picked up the ‘essence de la pizza’ trial.

          “PIZZA!” He yelled and sniffing wildly, he followed the trail.

          “Wait Mario!” Luigi yelled as he chased after Mario. “It could be a trap!”. Well, it obviously was. The pizza path led to a pizza tree. Mario going ballistic due to all of the pizza yells “PIZZA!” He attempts to climb the tree but is pushed down by something. “NOOOO! MUST… HAVE… PIZZA!” The thing that pushed him off of the tree jumped down from the tree. It was a Piranha Plant. Five other Piranhas jumped down from the tree.      “We have you now!” The first Piranha says.

          “Oh no! We’re surrounded! What do we do now Mario.”

          “Relax Luigi I know what to do (apparently, Mario has mood-swings). Don’t you remember that plants hate fire? ULTRA FLAME!”

          Mario shoots out his hands and fireballs the size of Mario shoot out from them. The fireballs hit every one of the Piranha Plants. The plants die.

          “HA! Take that!” Mario yells.

          Luigi isn’t so happy though. He really wanted to fight. He is very close to tears. The plumbers start walking back to the path. As they’re walking along Pleasant Path, Luigi is thinking to himself. “I’m just a stupid character. An unwanted person. I’m useless. Well, actually not. If he could just see me fight…” A couple tears run down Luigi’s face. But in a little while, the scenery takes over and he is then is too absorbed in the scenery to think those thoughts. After a while, a huge castle looms overhead. “Look Mario! That’s probably were the princess is being held!” Mario and Luigi rush into the castle, not knowing what’s within…

Chapter 4

The Castle

          Mario and Luigi enter, Mario of course, goes first. The first room in the in the castle has no enemies in it, no lava, no obstacles, no nothing. Mario is confused, because the first room always has at least something. Luigi shrugs and continues. But Mario stops him. “Don’t you know that there is always, and I mean always, something in the first room. I think that they’re trying to trap us again. Be careful Luigi, it might be a trap.”

          Upon hearing this, Luigi starts screaming at Mario, “AND WHAT WAS I REPEATEDLY TELLING YOU AT PLEASANT PATH! ‘Careful Mario, it might be a trap’. BUT NOOOO! YOU’RE ALL LIKE ‘Yeah right. Like anything is going to hurt me’. SO YOU DON’T YOU BE CAREFUL, YOU, YOU, YOU… SELF-ABSORBED PLUMBER!

          Mario didn’t hear any of this though because he was looking in a pocket mirror at himself. “I am sooo handsome.”. Good thing Luigi didn’t see or hear this or he would have gone ballistic, well more ballistic then he already was.

          “Come on Luigi. Let’s go!” Mario and Luigi rush into the next room and almost falls into a pit of lava. “Now that’s more like it!” Mario yells.

          “WHAT! YOU WANT LAVA PITS! YOU WANT TO DIE!”

          “No, I don’t. I’m the main character. Main characters never die. You are a secondary character. Secondary characters usually die. You see, you are very annoying sometimes…”

          “YOU WANT TO KILL ME?! COME AT GET SOME, PLUMBER!” Luigi screams at the top of his voice. Just as they are about to lock in mortal combat, a huge stream of fire whistles over their head.

          “That must be Bowser! He must have the princess!” After saying this, Mario, using his great jumping ability, jumps over the lava pit. Well, almost. He jumps too short of it and hangs onto the ledge for dear life. Not many people know this, but Luigi is a better jumper than Mario. So while Mario’s legs flail over the edge, Luigi jumps over the pit with ease, and then helps Mario up. But being Mario, he is too stuck up to admit he had help and insists that he got himself up by himself.

          “Look Luigi!” Mario points behind Luigi to a red door with black dots on it. “It’s the boss door.”

          Mario makes toward the door but Luigi beats him to it. “It’s my turn! You’ve fought all those monsters without even asking for my help. I get to fight Bowser!” Good thing Luigi went first, well good for Mario anyway. The moment Luigi entered the door, chains dropped from the ceiling, wrapped around Luigi, and then pinned him to the ceiling. Mario enters the room, looks left then right looking for his brother, then looks up. “What are you doing up there?”

          “Don’t play stupid Mario!”.

          Mario didn’t get trapped because Bowser only planned on one plumber coming. Mario looked around the room. It looked very familiar. Then it struck him. It was the same boss room from his first adventure (Super Mario Bros. for the NES)! A suspended bridge was suspended over a lake of lava. An ax was at the other end of the bridge. A little chamber sat beyond the ax. All of a sudden, Bowser drops from the ceiling. Without a word Bowser starts towards Mario, blowing flames as he advances. With relative ease, Mario jumps over Bowser. Then Mario grabs the ax and cuts the rope that supports the bridge. Bowser falls into the lava.

Mario thinks, “Well that takes care of Bowser, but what about my brother?” His question is answered. The chains pinning Luigi to the ceiling let go and he plummets towards the lava pit. “LUIGI!” Mario yells. Luigi is smart though and he brought a metal cap. He puts it on and becomes solid metal. So the lava doesn’t hurt him but he sinks like a rock. Mario thinks that his brother is lost. He starts crying. But all of a sudden, Luigi jumps out from the lava, still metal. The metal cap wears off and still crying, Mario runs to his brother and hugs him.

Then the brothers notice a brown bag in the corner of the chamber. The bag starts squirming and the rope binding the bag falls off.  The bag opens and out pops… a toad. The toad says, “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Mario yells.

“Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to another castle.”

“No, you don’t understand. These toads were on my first adventure. I had to go to seven castles with these toads saying the same thing, ‘Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.’. They are probably going to do the same thing!

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“Shut up you toad!”

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!”

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE” Mario runs to the castle wall and bangs his head against it repeatedly. Unfortunately, he hit the wall where the foundation was weak so the entire castle falls down on them. All three of them survive. Luigi’s head is the first to poke out of the rubble, then Mario’s, then Toad’s.

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“THAT’S IT!” Mario yells.

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our prin…”

WHAM! Mario hits the toad as hard as he can.

“Thank you for…”

WHACK! Another hit.

“Thank you fo…”

WHACK!

“Thank y…”

WHAM!

“Tha…”

WHACK! A slight pause, then…

“Thank you for re…”

WHAM! WHACK! SLAM! BAM! Mario hits the toad with such force it is forced up from the pile of rubble and is hurled through the air. The toad lands on his face. Mario and Luigi walk over to the toad. “Is it dead?” Luigi asks Mario. “I don’t know”. Mario uses his foot to kick the toad over. All of a sudden, the toad’s eyes pop open. “Thank you for rescu…” Mario gives an almighty kick to the toad, knocking him out.

“Well obviously we can’t ask that toad where the next castle is. Let’s go back to Mushroom kingdom to search for more clues.” Luigi says.

“I agree. Can we go someplace to eat, I’m hungry.” Mario adds.

“Oh fine. But when we look at the menu, don’t say ‘I’ll take one of each’ like you did last time.” Luigi teases Mario.

As they’re walking away from the rubble a voice yells out, “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”. Mario picks up a rock and throws it behind his back. “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another ca…” WHAM! The rock finds its mark and the toad becomes unconscious once again.

Chapter 5

To Dry Dry1 Desert

          After a while of traveling on Pleasant Path (no bad-guys this time) they arrive at the mushroom kingdom. They notice that the writer, Michael, is gone. Luigi is very relived by this bit of information. Mario sensing what Luigi is thinking says, “You may be happy that Michael has gone away, but we might have been able to find out where the next castle is. Also because these toads are so stupid, if we ask them about the castle’s whereabouts, then they will say something completely off of the topic. For example ‘where is the next castle?’ ‘If you ever get hurt then go to a toad house’. They are so fricken annoying!”

Then they see someone who is not a toad. It is a person. Mario and Luigi run over to the only sane person besides them. “Michael! Please help us!” Mario yells. The person turns to look at them and it is not Michael. “Who are you?” Luigi asks.

“I am Elliot.”

“You’re not the writer.”

“No, but I am his best friend.”

“But Michael is not here, is he?”

“No.”

“THANK YOU LORD!” Luigi yells.

          “I agree with you bro.” Mario says. “He’s a jerk! ‘I cannot give you that kind of information, find it out yourself you lazy bum’. Even though I am a lazy bum people shouldn’t say it out loud to me. If he were here I would give him a piece of my mind.”

          “I wouldn’t do that to Michael if I were you. He might turn you into a frog or something.” Luigi says.

          Elliot whips out a cell-phone and started dialing. “Hello. Hi Michael this is Elliot.” Elliot started talking. “Yeah, the plumbers insulted you. No, not Luigi, Mario. You’re gonna WHAT?! Oh… That’s evil. Ok bye.” Elliot hangs up. “Your gonna be in big trouble now!”

          All of them hear a weird popping noise. Nothing happened. At least that’s what they thought. Mario looks down and realizes that he is thin, not fat.

          “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’M THIN! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME! CALL MICHAEL BACK AND TELL HIM TO TURN ME BACK TO NORMAL !”

          “Sorry, but Michael said he’d turn you back in half an hour.

“PLEASE MAKE HIM TURN ME BACK! I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!”

“Sorry.”

“Come on Elliot. Please tell Michael to turn him back.” Luigi asks Elliot.

“Oh fine.” Elliot whips out the phone and presses redial. “Hi. This is Elliot again. Um, well… Mario is going psycho. I think he is trying to kill himself.” Elliot stops talking to look over at Mario, who is trying to drown himself. “So please change him back. You will? Thank you. Bye.” Elliot hangs up and the weird popping noise happens again. Mario looks down sees that he is fat again. He hugs his flab.

After Mario regains himself, he asks, “Well can you at least tell us where the next castle is?”

“Yes, I will because I’m nice. Go to Dry Dry1  Desert.”

“ DRY DRY DESERT !” The Mario Brothers say in unison.

“Yup. Dry Dry Desert . There in the middle of the Desert you will find the castle. Now… GO!”

The Mario brothers catch the train in the south part of the town and are off to Dry Dry Desert . What they don’t know is that they must first climb Mt. Rugged. As the Mario Bros are on the train veeery repetitive music starts playing.

“What’s that?” Luigi asks.

“Don’t know. But that music is reeeeally annoying. What’s that in the distance!”

“It’s a mountain Mario. Don’t you even know what a mountain is? You may not have one, but inside my head, there is something called a brain. You probably don’t have one. If you do then use it for at least once in your life.”

“I know perfectly well what a mountain is. I was building dramatic tension you twit!”

Anyway, the Mario Bros are heading towards another castle. But there are many more to come. The train stops at the entrance to the mountain. The bros get out.

“Well. This is it.” Mario says, “Once we get over the mountain then, we will reach Dry Dry Desert . Well, what are we waiting for, let’s go!”

Chapter 6

Mt. Rugged

The Mario Bros start up the mountain. Because Mario is running to fast, he trips and rolls down the mountain for a good thirty seconds. When he finally stops rolling, he is very dazed. Luigi helps him up. Once again, Mario was too stuck up to admit that he tripped and says that Luigi had pushed him. Luigi shrugs and continues. After a couple more hours of climbing, the surroundings look very familiar. “We’re going around in circles!” Luigi exclaims.

“We’ve got to get some help from somebody!” Mario says.

“I agree with you.” Mario says. “We have to find some help!” As if somebody has answered Mario’s wish, a weird (there’s a lot of weird things in this story, eh?) thing pops out of the ground. It looks like a roundest dome like thing and it is kind of brown.

“Look Mario! A Pokemon! It’s a Diglit! Gotta catch em all you know…” And with a psycho look in his eye, Luigi pulls out a Pokeball, prepared to catch the “Diglit”. But just as Luigi is about to throw the Pokeball, Mario stops him.

“Luigi, it’s a Whacka. They live on this mountain. But there are very few left because people keep whacking them to get a rare item, a Whacka Bump.” Mario says to Luigi.

“Um, Mr. Whacka.” Luigi asks. “Do you know the way to Dry Dry Desert ?”

“Whack-o!” The Whacka replies. “Another beautiful day here on Mt. Rugged . Then of course, it’s always a beautiful day!”

“Um, right. Well do you know the way?”

“Whack-o! Another beautiful day here on Mt. Rugged . Then of course, it’s always a beautiful day!”

“I’m going to hurt you.”

“Whack-o! Another beautiful day here on Mt. Rugged . Then of course, it’s always a beautiful day!”

“I have been traveling for over three hours strait without stop and I’ve been going around in circles! I am very, very tired so just tell us or you’ll be very, very sorry.

“Whack-o! Another beautiful day here on Mt. Rugged . Then of course, it’s always a beautiful day!”

Luigi looks at the Whacka then without warning, launches towards the Whacka and hits him with full force with his elbow. A strange (HA! I said ‘strange’ not ‘weird’!) sphere like object falls from the Whacka and falls to the ground.

“Whack-ow! Don’t hit me!” And with these words the Whacka disappears.

Mario stoops down and picks up the Whacka Bump. “Nice going Luigi. Now there might not be anymore Whackas on Mt. Rugged .”

“Whatever. What does a Whacka Bump do anyway?”

“I hear that it restores your health.”

“Ok. But how do we get down to Dry Dry Desert ?” They talk as they walk. Luigi trips and starts falling. He grabs onto Mario’s sleeve and they both roll all the way down the mountain. When they finally stop rolling, they realize they are In Dry Dry Desert! “Well now. I guess that answers my question.”

After a couple of more hours of traveling, the brothers have no more water.

“Need. Water. Now.” Luigi stammers. The plumbers have their heads down and are taking gasps of air.

“We. Need. Go. Dry. Dry. Outpost.” Mario stammers. “Just. One. More. Hour.” But they don’t make it. They both pass out, in the middle of the desert.

Chapter 7

To Dry Dry Castle

Luigi is the first one to wake. He is in a bed. He looks around the room to find Mario lying in a bed beside him. Luigi tries to wake Mario up. “WAKE UP NOW!” he screams. Believe it or not, Mario didn’t wake up. So Luigi goes over to him and plugs his nose. It wakes him up rather quickly “What did you do that for?” Mario asks groggily. “Um, where are we?” Mario asks.

“It appears that we’re in a toad house.” Just as Luigi finishes his sentence, a toad walks in the door.

“Hello and welcome to our toad house. Good thing that the traveling explorer, Kolarado, was out in that desert today. He found you there and well, here you are.” The toad finished.

“Hey” Mario asks, “Why aren’t you stupid like the other toads?”

“Hello and welcome to our toad house. Good thing that the-. Just kidding! Well to answer your question, I went to school.”

“Oh.”

“OK. I suggest that you get on your way. You have a princess to save. So… GO!”

The Mario Brothers leave the toad house. As their walking away Mario asks, “Have you ever noticed that almost everyone we talk to says at the end ‘GO!’. Is it that they don’t like us or something? I mean, it’s kinda weird and mean. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes I agree… Hey what’s that!?” Luigi exclaims.

“It’s a castle, moron. Don’t you even know what a castle is? You don’t have one but I do, it’s called… a brain. HA! That’s for the mountain thing you did to me!”

“Oh shut up Mario.”

The Mario brothers enter the castle, suspecting lava pits inside. They might be right, they might be wrong. They will soon find out…

Chapter 8

Dry Dry Castle

       Mario enters the castle first. He looks around the room again and there is nothing, once again. “I think that we’re about to walk right into a trap”.

       “Whatever. That’s what you said last time and nothing happened in the first room. What do you thinks gona happen? Do you think that when I step on the tile directly in front of my will activate a switch that releases a deadly trap such as huge swinging scythes that come down from the ceiling and try do decapitate us? Look I’ll show you.” Luigi takes a step on the tile in front of him. The tile sinks into the ground. “Uh-oh.” Luigi says. All of a sudden, giant scythes drop from the ceiling, and start swinging.                       “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The Marios (Mario and Luigi’s last name is “Mario”) scream in unison. “RUN AWAY!!!” Luigi and Mario try to run for the next room. Keyword: try. Luigi trips. “Mario, listen very carefully to me… HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!” He screams just as a giant scythe is about to slice him in two.

       “I’m coming Luigi!” Mario runs towards Luigi but also trips and slams into the scythe coming towards Luigi. The sheer weight of Mario’s body bends the scythe to the left. That scythe then barley misses Luigi and chops off another scythe blade which rockets to a wall, bounces off, cuts of another scythe blade. Then the newly cut blade hits a wall, and comes straight towards Mario. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” He screams. He ducks, but not in time. The scythe blade slices his hat in two. The blade keeps rocketing around the room, bouncing off the stone walls. The blade then hits an odd colored stone. Then sparks and electrical wires shoot out from the odd colored stone. You see, that odd colored stone was hiding the electrical system for the scythes. It takes electricity to power the scythes to go back and forth. So when the scythe hit the control panel, it deactivated the trap.

       Luigi gets up and thinks to himself, “Okay. That was weird.” He then notices Mario on the ground, crying. “What’s wrong Mario?” Luigi looks over Mario. Mario is holding the two pieces of his hat.

       “Why. Why did this happen?” Mario says with tears in his eyes. “We traveled on so many adventures together. I took care of you. And this is how you repay me!? Why me? Why did you do this?” He finishes. All of a sudden he stands up and stops crying. “Luckily, I have a spare.” He pulls another hat out of his pocket and puts it on his head.

       “Mario, you are an idiot. You were crying over a stupid hat?!

       “It was very special to me.”

       “Okay. Now that you are over your little ‘emotional moment’… LET’S GET GOING ALREADY!”

       After an hour and thirteen minutes and 27 seconds, (I like to be precise) they reach the boss door. Mario makes toward the door, but once again, Luigi pushes him out of the way and runs in the door. But the moment Luigi steps into the boss room a huge wind blows from the right side of the room and hurls Luigi to the left side of the room. Luigi smashes into the wall and slides down it. He slides into quicksand and sinks until only his head remains above the surface. “ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!” Luigi yells.

       Mario enters the room. He looks around. It’s different then the first castle. There is a straight walkway of stone in front of him. On either side of him are quicksand pits. Luigi is to the left of Mario. There is a door at the end of the walkway. All of a sudden, that door opens and out comes Bowser!

       “Wait a second. You fell into a pit of lava, yet you’re standing in front of me right now! How is that possible!?”

       Then for the first time, the big lizard/dragon/turtle speaks. “Well, I’m part dragon. Dragons are immune to lava. So the lava didn’t even hurt me. Now I have you trapped!”

       Mario then thinks, “Um, why did he say ‘Now I have your trapped’? It’s not like I’m a wuss and I’m going to run away or anything. He could have just said ‘I have you now!’ instead of what he just said. It sounds a lot better.”

       Bowser continues talking, “Now all what I have to do is push that switch behind you to trap you.” Bowser starts walking with slow, heavy steps. He starts to move past Mario but then, Mario gets an idea. When Bowser is to the side of Mario, he turns towards him and pushes him into the quicksand. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Foiled again!” Bowser yells as he sinks into the quicksand.

       Mario thinks to himself, “He, he, he. Bowser’s not that smart. But how is Luigi going to escape from the quicksand?” As if an answer to Mario question, (I say that a lot, don’t I?) Luigi is thrown out of the quick sand. Then a bag is thrown out of the quicksand from the right. The string binding the bag opens and out pops… a toad.

       “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

       “NOOOOOOOOOO!” NOT AGAIN!”

       “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

But this time Mario doesn’t hesitate. He immediately punches the toad square in the face. The toad rolls back five feet, and then gets up immediately. He runs back to Mario saying, “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

       “SAY YOUR PRAYERS TOAD!!!” Mario screams. He picks up the toad and throws it into the quicksand. “Ha!” Mario yells as he watches the toad sink, “Take that!” The toad sinks all the way in the quicksand. Then it pops back out.

       “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

       “ARRRRRRRRRRGH!” Mario screams.

       Luigi smiles, and then turns to Mario. “Hey Mario, see if you can make a field goal!”

       “I getcha.”

       Luigi grabs the toad and holds him down, just like holding a foot ball down on the ground. Mario takes ten and a half (he he he) steps back and runs full force towards the toad.

       “Thank you for rescuing me, but o”

       KICK! The toad flies through the air. It smashes into the wall above the door Bowser came out of. Unfortunately, the toad hit a weak spot in the foundation. The castle starts rumbling. “LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!” Luigi yells. They run to the water room which I didn’t tell about because I am lazy and it is too hard to tell the whole traveling through the castle. They jump in the water and swim to the exit, dodging falling rocks. They jump out of the water, miraculously dry, and run out of the falling castle. They turn around and watch the castle collapse.

       Mario looks on the ground and picks up a big slab of rock and holds it above his head.

       “What are you doing Mario?”

       “Waiting.”

       “For what?”

       “You’ll see.”

       Out of the rubble pops the toad. The toad runs towards the Mario brothers and is about to say his line. But Mario throws the big slab and hits the toad square in the face. The toad gets knocked out.

       “Well, let’s go back to Toad Town to find out where the next castle is.”

       The Mario Brothers get directions, climb Mt. Rugged, and catch the train back to Mushroom Kingdom . They arrive back in Mushroom Kingdom and immediately find a clue…

Chapter 9

The Forever Forest

       Mushroom Kingdom is swarming with Boos. For those of you people who are Nintendo impaired, Boos are ghosts, not alcohol, But there is a bum next to the entrance with empty beer bottles around him. Luigi looks around and notices that the Boos are coming from the Forever Forest. “Mario! It looks like the Boos are coming from Forever Forest ! Let’s go check it out, Mario! Mario?” Mario is hiding behind a bush. He is shaking all over.

       Luigi goes over to him and taps his shoulder. “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! DON’T HURT ME! I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!” Mario screams.

       “Mario you wuss. You’re scared of a couple Boos!? Oh. Now I remember. You got captured by them. And I had to rescue you! You were the one you was captured. And you weren’t the star, I was. HA! What do you say to that!?”

       “Ummm,” Mario says shakily, “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.”

       “If you’re not scared, then let’s go into the Forever Forest .”

       “Um, you know what? Do we really have to rescue Peach? I mean, someone else might rescue her…”

       “MARIO!”

       “Oh, fine. Let’s go.”

       The Mario Brothers go into the forest. The first fifteen minutes of walking are okay. The sun is still overhead, the trees are green, and there are cute little animals near the path. But then the trees start looking more old and withered. The branches on the trees are bare. The branches start to loom overhead and form a web. The path is dark, even though it is still daytime. Then the sun starts to sink and the path ahead of them is impossible to see. But Luigi brought a flashlight (The one he used in the GCN game “Luigi’s Mansion). They continue their journey. The vegetation around them looks like from a different planet. Mario tries to run away about every ten minutes but Luigi stops him. About 11:00 at night, they cannot travel anymore. They drop on the ground exhausted. Mario fell asleep right away, but Luigi stayed awake. He knew about the trees. He had read ‘Lord of the Rings’. He knew about those devious trees, snatching up travelers and all. He couldn’t fall asleep. He didn’t. Mario wakes up at 6:38 and looks at Luigi. Luigi’s eyes are completely bloodshot.

       After a quick breakfast, the-. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘where did they get food?’! DON’T YOU KNOW MARIO’S TRADEMARK THINGY! THE MUSHROOMS?! THEY ARE IN A FREAKING FOREST . MUSHROOMS GROW IN FORESTS! THEY PICK THE MUSHROOMS THEN EAT THE MUSHROOMS. DON’T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT AGAIN! Okay. Now where was I? Oh yeah. After a quick breakfast, they (don’t start that again) continued their journey.

       After about another hour of traveling on the dark path, Mario turns to Luigi and says, “Hey Luigi. Is it just me, or has Bowser stopped having enemies intercept us? They stopped all of the traps too.”

       “Hmmm. You are right. But maybe he’s just doesn’t feel like doing that yet and will do it every once and a while.”

       “Yeah. That sounds about right.”

       The castle looms in the distance. But wait. It’s not a castle! It’s a mansion. Boo Mansion.

Chapter 10

Boo Mansion

       Mario and Luigi skid to a halt. A huge gate surrounds the mansion. The gate is a good five-hundred feet away from the huge house. The gate is made of thin wood, painted to look like a rusty iron gate. On it is a sign that has the words painted on it. They say, “BEWARE! Enter if you dare...” The words are painted in rainbow spray paint.

       “Lack of budget.” Luigi whispers to Mario. Mario nods. Mario reaches towards the gate to open it, but the moment he touches it, it falls over.

       “Lack of budget indeed.” Mario says.

       “Well, at least we can get in.” Luigi says hopefully.

       “Dang it. Umm, I mean… yay. All right, now we can rescue Peach (Oh, why did I let Luigi talk me into this?).

       They both carefully step over the wooden gate, careful not to get splinters. Then they continue walk onto the path leading to the mansion. All of a sudden, “scary” music starts playing from poorly hidden speakers disguised to look like rocks. The “scary” music is actually the soundtrack from the Kero-Kero Sewers. Then a couple bats “fly” down a wire. The wire brakes and the bats fall onto the ground. Then cardboard Boos and monsters pop up from behind bushes.

       “This is supposed to scare us!? HA! Only a very moronic person would be scared by this! Even Alice Borg wouldn’t be scared of this! Right, Mario? Mario?” Luigi looks over at Mario, who is crouched down with his hands over his head.

       “I WANT MY MOMMY!” He screams.

       “Come on Mario, let’s go.”

       “But I don’t wanna!”

       “Life’s tough, get a helmet.” Upon saying this Luigi “lightly” punches Mario on the top of his head.

       “OW! Okay, okay. I’ll go.”

       Then after one whole page of writing, they finally go into the next castle.

       Luigi looks around. This place looks very familiar to him… Then he remembers. It is the mansion from Luigi’s Mansion (Luigi’s second starring role and first appearance in a GCN game). Luigi smiles and turns to Mario. “Hey Mario…” He says with a hint of humor and sarcasm. “Does this place look familiar?”

       “Ummm, no? Oh, fine! I know! I got kidnapped here! GET OFF MY CASE ALREADY!”

       “Fine, but which door do we go in? There’s so many!”

       “Well, let’s just open them and find out!”

       Mario goes to the nearest door and tries to open it, but to his disappointment, it’s locked. The Mario Bros. check out all the doors and find them all locked.

       “Well, what do we do now?” Mario says out loud. His question is answered (as always). The floor they’re standing on disappears and they fall for thirty seconds and twenty seven milliseconds. They fall and land on some sort of plant thing. Luigi knows exactly what that plant thing is and jumps off of it immediately. He knew it was a Sporen Piranha Plant. Mario however, doesn’t know and lies down for a bit. Bad move. Root-like things grab Mario and start to constrict him.

       “HEEEEEEEEELP!”

       “Don’t struggle. It’ll only kill you faster.”

       “WELL THAT’S A NICE THOUGHT!”

       Luigi also knows that it hates fire. Luigi can only use fireballs if he has a fire flower (he ran out of FP using both Ultra Jump and Ultra Flame). Luckily he spots one right next to the Sporen Plant. He grabs it and shoots flames at the plants. It shrivels up and drops Mario. Mario gets up and dusts himself off. They continue as nothing had happened.

       They reach a door, and open it (what else would you do with a door?). In it is a room with platforms and gaps. In other words, there is a gap, then a platform, then another gap, and a higher platform and so on and so forth. To make things worse, there are huge green bubbles floating around. They jump across the platforms and dodge the bubbles. They come to the last platform to discover a warp pipe there.

       “I bet this leads to Bowser.” Luigi says.

       “You’re probably right. I know why he did this; so that we can’t run away.”

       “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

       Luigi jumps into the pipe. Mario follows. Mario lands on a platform. There is a long bridge made of brick. Beneath it is an endless pit. Another platform is at the end of the bridge. But where’s Luigi? He is trapped in one of those green bubbles. He is at the platform opposite of Mario. Bowser is also at the platform opposite of Mario.

       “MARIO! I won’t be pushed off this time. You can’t fool me!”

       Mario gets an idea and runs three quarters of the way across the bridge. Bowser tries to blow flames at Mario, but the flames die out just in front of Mario. Bowser takes a step towards Mario. Mario takes a step away from Bowser. Bowser, realizing that this process will continue, jumps up high in the air (don’t ask me how he can jump. He did jump pretty high in SSBM) and comes down with all of his might. Mario rolls beneath Bowser just before he lands. Where Bowser hit the bridge, it falls apart. Mario had already reached the other side though, so Bowser was the only one the bridge took down.

       “All right! That’s the third time! Luigi should be released from the bubble right about now.”

       Luigi is released from the bubble. Another bubble floats right in front of them and pops. Out comes a sack. It undoes it self and out pops, you guessed it… a toad.

       “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

       “NOT AGAIN!” the brothers yell in unison.

       This time Mario doesn’t hesitate. He picks up the toad and throws him into the bottomless pit. Turns out it really isn’t bottomless and the toad hits the bottom, right were it is a weak spot in the foundation (who builds these castles?). The castle starts to collapse.

       “OH NO!” Luigi yells, “HOW DO WE GET OUT NOW?!”

       As if an answer to his question, one of those bubbles passes in front of them. They jump in. The bubble somehow takes them outside. They watch the mansion collapse.

       Mario looks at Luigi, “Well. We did it. Again.”

       “Yup. Let’s go back to Toad Town . Maybe we can find that writer again. But let’s try not to insult him or say anything wrong.”

       “Okay. Let’s go.”

       They pass the cardboard boos and monsters and jump over the wooden gate and into the forever forest. They find their way out and enter Toad Town .

Chapter 11

Preparations

       The Mario Bros. reach Toad Town . They spot Michael there, but have trouble deciding wither to talk to him or not. They decide that they will ask him where the next castle is.

       “Oy, Michael!” Mario yells.

       “What?”

       “Umm,” Luigi says, “could you tell us where the next castle is?”

       “Yes.”

       “WHAT?! You will?”

       “Sure. The reason I’m doing this is because I kinda feel bad about what I did to you guys. I was kinda mean too, not helping you on adventure. So I will tell you where the next castle is. You must go… down.”

       “What do you mean?” Luigi asks.

       “What I mean is that you must go under the sea.”

       “Okay,” Mario says, “but there’s one teensy little problem… WE CAN’T BREATHE WHEN WE’RE IN WATER!”

       “I’m very aware of that problem.” Michael says.

       “Okay,” Mario says, “how do we breathe underwater?”

       “Simple; Merlon.” (Merlon is a wizard and fortune teller in ‘Paper Mario’.)

       Mario smacks his forehead. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

       “Beca-. I’ll stop myself from saying that.”

       “Okay, thanks. Bye.” Luigi says.

       They Mario brothers walk off to Merlon (not to be confused with “Merlin” though it is undoubtedly a rip-off anyways).

       They stop at the circular house with the spinning roof (which is Merlon’s house). They go into Merlon’s house. The brothers look around the house. It is circular shaped and the only thing in it is a table and a crystal ball.

       “Hello. Isn’t anybody here?” Luigi yells.

       No answer.

       “I don’t think he’s here, Luigi.” Mario says.

       “Hello. Welcome to Merlon’s Magical Mason. Come here to get palms read, fortunes told, and to see a look into your future.”

       Merlon appears to the right side of Mario.

       “We didn’t come here to get ripped off,” Mario says, “We want to be able to breathe underwater.” 

       “Okay.” Merlon says, “I need you both to stand over in that corner.”

       The Mario Bros. stand in that corner. Merlon goes over to the crystal ball and waves his hands over it. He starts saying magical words and the crystal ball lights up. Merlon then points over to where the two brothers are and the light from the crystal ball shoots out a ray of light. The light engulfs the brothers.

       “Good, good. Excellent! But does it work…” Merlon says. He snaps his fingers and a water trough appears in the corner. “Mario, I need you to come over here…”

       Mario goes over there. “Do you want me to stick my head in that water trough? Cause it’s not gonna happen!”

       “Don’t worry,” Merlon says, “I don’t want you to stick your head underwater…”

       Upon saying this, Merlon grabs Mario’s head and holds it underwater. Mario takes a huge gulp of water, and to his surprise, he can breathe!

       “Great! It works!” Merlon says.

       “Please don’t stick my head underwater too.” Luigi says.

       “Don’t worry. If it works on him, it’ll work on you too.”

       While they were talking, Mario had taken his head out from the trough. He is miraculously dry though.

       “Cool.” Mario says, “That was really cool. It’s just like breathing air!”

       “Oh by the way,” Merlon says, “You two can talk to each other while you are underwater.

       “Thanks Merlon!” Luigi says.

       “Yes, yes. You’re welcome. That’ll be fifty coins.” Merlon says.

       “WHAT?!” The Mario brothers say in unison.

       “But, but,” Luigi stammers, “we’re trying to save the princess and all, and, and, you gotta make this free!”

       “Sorry. A business is a business. Pay up… NOW!”

       “Fine.” Says Mario as he fishes out fifty from his pocket.

       “Why thank you.” Merlon says. “I hope to do business with you again.” Merlon says with a phony business smile.

       The brothers leave Merlon’s house and go to the port.

       “You ready, Luigi?”

       “I’m ready, Mario.”

       They both take a deep breath, close their eyes, and then jump into the sea.

Chapter 12

Under the Sea

       There is nothing interesting near the surface of the water. But when they get deeper, they see all kinds of things; Bloobers, Cheep-cheeps, baby Cheep-cheeps, and Big Berthas (which they avoided). After thirty-two minutes of swimming downward, they reach the bottom. On the sea-floor they see coral, seaweed, the Titanic, the Little Mermaid, and the tail rudder of Amelia Earheart’s plane; nothing much of interest really.

       Luigi turns to Mario. “Hey Mario, where do we find the castle?”

       Mario turns to Luigi and shrugs.

       Luigi looks down and sees a path.

       “Mario, look down.”

       Mario does so and sees the path.

       “Look what I found, Luigi! A path! What would you do without me?”

       Luigi moans. They go down to the path and follow it. They eventually come to a medium size castle. But it is guarded by Bloobers, Big Berthas, Koopas wearing scuba tanks, and Goombas in submarines.

       “What the…” Luigi says.

       “How did they get that many guys?” Mario says.

       “How in the world do we get past?” Luigi asks.

       “Don’t know. So Luigi, how do we get in?”

       “Why me?”

       “You’re the one who always has good ideas. You figure it out!”

       Luigi thinks for a bit and then… “I’ve got it! I just remembered something I’ve seen from countless movies!”

       Luigi whispers the plan in Mario’s ear. Mario smiles. They both hide behind a rock and wait for a submarine to pass. They then swim to the top of it and open the hatch. There is some magical water seal that allows things to go in and out of the sub, but no water can go in. The Mario Bros. jump inside and tie up the Goomba. They figure out how to control the sub and turn around to go to the castle. All of a sudden, a headset radio from the tied up Goomba sounds. “TK-421, do you copy?”

       The brothers look at each other. Luigi picks up the headset and puts it on his head. The speaker sounds again.

       “Do you copy?”

       “Oh yeah, we’r-, I mean, I’m okay. I didn’t get tied up or anything. I hate those Mario Bros. all right.”

       “That wasn’t the question. TK-421, why aren’t you at you’re post?”

       “Umm, I thought I saw the Mario Bros. coming.”

       “That’s understandable…wait a minute! Who are you?!”

       Luigi takes off the headset and throws it to the ground. He then pulls out a blaster and shoots the headset.

       “Boring conversation anyways.” Luigi says.

       “Where did you get that gun?”

       “What gun?”

       The blaster had vanished.

       “Nice going Luigi, now they know we’re here.”

       All of a sudden, a face pops up on the screen inside the sub. It looks like Slippy Toad.

       “Fire a torpedo to light your way!”

       “?”

       Then Falco Lombardi’s head appears.

       “Don’t worry, you have unlimited torpedoes.”

       “??”

       Then Peppy Hare’s head appears.

       “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

       “???”

       Mario turns off the screen. He looks ahead and sees a fleet of subs moving towards him. He fires a torpedo and destroys them all.

       “That was easy, too easy…” Mario says. He pilots the sub right before the door to the castle. They exit out of the sub, into the water, and into the castle…

Chapter 13

The Underwater Castle

       The Mario Bros enter the castle and look around. All they see is water.

       “Oh come on!” Luigi yells. “The first room blank AGAIN?”

       Luigi starts swimming forward but Mario grabs his shoulder.

       “You idiot. Remember Dry Dry Ruins? You stepped into an obvious trap! It’s probably another one. So listen very carefully to what I say… DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID OR YOU’LL GET US IN TROUBLE AGAIN!”

       Right after Mario finished yelling at Luigi, the noise detector on the ceiling… runs out of batteries and doesn’t sound the alarm. But then the machine monitoring the noise detector… short circuits. Then the video camera watching the whole thing… gets water in it and blows up. But this whole sequence doesn’t matter didilly squat because a guard was in that room anyways.

       “HALT! PUT YOUR HATS ON THE GOUND IN FRONT OF YOU AND GET ON THE FLOOR!” Yells the guard.

       “Which order would you like that done in?” Mario asks.

       “THE ORDER I SAID IT IN!”

       “But I wasn’t paying attention.”

       “YES YOU WERE! YOU ASKED WHAT ORDER YOU SHOULD DO IT IN!”

       “No I didn’t. You’re going slowly insane by the loneliness with nobody to talk to which is causing you to see and hear delusions and by the time I finish talking you will have-.”

       BOOM! While Mario was talking the guard had blown himself up with a water proof Bomb-omb.

       “-committed suicide.”

       “OH GROSS! I think I’m going to be sick…” Luigi says.

       “Let’s keep on moving.”

       “Let’s.”

       The Mario Bros. swim into the next room and scream. In the room are twenty Ball-n-chains, the ceiling is made up of spikes and spikes are constantly falling, and there are tons and tons of Fishbones.

       “H-how do w-w-we get p-p-past?” Luigi stammers.

       “Like Marios.” Mario replies.

       As he says this, he picks up Luigi and throws him as hard as he can across the room.

       “AHHHHHHHHHH!” Luigi screams as he heads towards one of the Ball-n-chains. He crashes into the chain part and the chain snaps. Luigi then smashes into the wall at the other end of the room. The Ball-n-chain that he decapitated falls to the floor and causes a huge rumble. The rumble loosens all of the spikes on the ceiling and they all fall. The spikes fall on all of the Fishbones. When the spikes hit the Fishbones, they explode and the bones of the fish are going so fast that they bounce around the room and cut all of the chains on the Ball-n-chains. Now the room is completely clear of any harm.

       “Too easy.” Mario says as he just swims to the other side of the room.

       Luigi finally gains consciousness and punches Mario as hard as he can.

       “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” Luigi yells.

       “Well hey, we’re both safe aren’t we?”

       “Well… yeah. But…”

       “But nothing. Let’s move on.”

       They travel for about forty minutes and come to the boss door. Luigi is about to go through but then gets an idea.

       “After you Mario…” Luigi says.

       “Oh. Why thank you.”

       Mario goes through while Luigi starts laughing his head off. However, Mario enters without anything happening.

       “Huh?” Luigi says.

       He goes through the door and a net falls from the ceiling and lands on him.

       “NOT AGAIN!”

       In the center of the room is Bowser… in a huge sub (submarine, not a sandwich) equipped with guns, turrets, and more guns.

       “BWAH HA HA HA! Nothing can penetrate my sub (once again, the machine that can go underwater, not the sub that you go to Subway to get)!” Bowser says.

       “Except one thing.” Mario says coolly.

       “What’s that?” Bowser says mockingly.

       “I picked up something from that Goomba in the sub.”

       Mario holds up an item.

       “It’s called a waterproof thermal detonator.”

       “Uh-oh.”

       BOOM! Bowser’s sub (for the final time, the thing that the military uses to destroy battle ships, not the sub that people use to destroy obesity) is destroyed. But because the hero doesn’t die and usually doesn’t get hurt in explosions, Mario and Luigi and unharmed. Bowser gets blown through the ceiling and Luigi is released from the net.

       “The Goomba didn’t have a thermal detonator…” Luigi says.

       A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

       “SET THE BOMB! SET THE BOMB!” Luke yells.

       Han Solo reaches into his backpack.

       “Uh-oh…”

       “I have you know, rebel scum!” Darth Vader yells.

       “Let’s not read too much into that.” Mario says.

       As always, a brown bag falls down from the ceiling and starts shaking violently. However, the shaking gets less and less, until it doesn’t shake anymore.

       “Umm. Wanna bet that that bag wasn’t water proof?” Luigi asks.

       “No. Let’s leave.” Mario says.

       “But he’ll die!”

       “No he won’t. They can’t die…”

       The Twilight Zone music starts playing.

       “EEK! WHAT WAS THAT?” Luigi shrieks.

       “I don’t know. Let’s go already!”

       An hour later they are back on the surface, looking for the next castle…

Chapter 14

To Lava Lava Island

       The Mario Bros get out of the water and back onto land. Once again, they are miraculously dry. They prepare to search for clues, but it is useless because their clue is right in front of them! A huge whale is near one of the pears. With no other choices, the Mario Bros go up to the whale.

       “Oooh. My stomach.” The whale moans.

       “IT TALKS!” Luigi yells. “IT’S ARMAGEDDON! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! AIEEEE!”

       “Chill out Luigi. What’s wrong?” Mario asks the whale, feeling very stupid for talking to a whale.

       “I must have ate somethi-. Ah ah AHH CHOOO!”

       The whale sneezes and an old man and a wooden puppet fly out of his mouth.

       “Pinocchio, we’re free!” the old man yells. “Oh, wait. You just are a lifeless puppet who I think is a real boy because I’m a mental institute escapee.”

       “Hey thanks! For helping me I will take you anywhere you want!” the whale says happily.

       “But we didn’t hel-.” Luigi starts but Mario stops him.

       “Luigi, we need him to take us to the next castle at Lava Lava Island.”

       “Oh. WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE THE NEXT CASTLE WAS?”

       “I played Paper Mario. But I couldn’t beat that castle cause I suck at RPGs. (Authors Note: I suck at RPGs but I did beat Mario RPG, and Paper Mario. So there.).”

       “Oh. Well then, let’s go!”

        The Mario Bros hop on the whale’s back and they are taken to Lava Lava Island. They look around (as always) but see nothing but jungle. They travel along the beach, fending off various monsters, until they reach Yoshi Village.

       “Welcome to Yoshi Village!” a Yoshi representative says to the brothers.

       “Listen up you reptile freak,” Mario says. “We are trying to save a princess so tell us where the next castle is!”

       The Yoshi looks at Mario, picks up a nearby stone, and throws it at Mario. He then turns to Luigi.

       “Welcome to Yoshi Village!”

       “Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you. Would you happen to know where the next castle is?

       “Umm. No. You’d better see the village elder for that.

       “Thank you for your assistance.”

       Mario gets up and the brothers walk to where the village elder is.

       “Owwwie. How did you learn to talk like that?”

       “Well, Unlike you, I’m not stupid, and I know how to talk to people. Therefore, people are nicer to me if I don’t insult them like some people do…”

       Well this conversation continues on and it finally ends with a argument about parachuting monkeys wearing skirts. Anyways, they finally reach the village elder. The village elder looks just like a normal Yoshi, except about ten times, err, rounder.

       “OH MY GOD!” Mario yells, “THAR SHE BLOWS!”

       “What are you talking about?” The village elder asks.

       “You know what I mean lard ball. You want another Twinkie? They’re good, and very fatty, like you. I mean seriously, did you”.

       WHACK! Luigi uppercuts Mario in the jaw.

       “I’m sorry about my friend here, he had too much Vodka.”

       “Oh, I see.”

       “I see your tremendous stomac”. Mario attempts to say, but is crushed by Luigi’s foot.

       “Would you happen to know where the next castle is?”

       “Why yes I would, it is in Lava Lava Volcano.”

       “Thank you very much.”

       Luigi walks away and Mario crawls away.

       “Owwwwwwwwwwwieeee. That really hurt."

       “Good,” Luigi replies.

       “I hate you.”

       “Suuure you do.”

       So the Mario Bros go out of the entrance of Yoshi Village and into the main part, where they meet five little Yoshis…

Chapter 15

The Fearsome Five

       “Grrr. We’re the Fearsome Five!” Growls the green Yoshi, who is obviously the leader.

       “Awww. Mario look! They’re sooo cute!”

       Luigi attempts to pet the green Yoshi, but is stopped when the Yoshi bites his hand.

       “OWIE! IT BURNS!”

       “HA HA! FEEL THE AWESOME POWER OF THE FEARSOME FIVE!”

       Upon hearing this, Luigi has the uncontrollable desire to kill the green Yoshi.

       “YOU’RE GONNA DIE YOSHI!”

       “NO LUIGI!”

       Mario somehow manages to stop Luigi.

       “We’d better get going before you have the urge to kill again.” Mario says to Luigi.

       “Yesss.”

       They leave the village, but not before Luigi gives the green Yoshi the…                              Pure Evil Stare of Death! (PESOD)

       They trek through the forest for a 10 ½ minutes and come to the volcano, which is the next castle. But there’s one tiny problem… a huge pit of lava is right before the entrance.

       “Oh no.” Luigi says, “Looks like we have to go back to the village and ask for help. Maybe if we throw all of the Yoshi’s into the lava pit, their dead bodies will fill up the pit enabling us to get across!”

       “LUIGI!”

       “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

       The Mario Brothers go back to the village to find the residents in panic.

       “What’s going on here?” Mario asks a panicked resident.

       “MY BABY IS GONE! HE AND HIS GANG WENT INTO THE JUNGLE!”

       “Well why don’t you go look for him?”

       “Umm… OW! MY BACK! IT HURTS! I COULDN’T WALK MORE THAN FIVE STEPS!”

       “Then how are you going to get back home?”

       “Umm… Well… OW! MY BACK! IT HURTS! I COULD ONLY WALK THE AMOUNT OF STEPS THAT REQUIRES ME TO GET BACK HOME!”

       “OH COME ON!”

       “OH SHUT UP! WHY DON’T YOU FIND THEM! YOU WOULD PROBABLY GET A REWARD OF SOMETHING!”

       “A reward, huh? Where is the jungle?”
       “Over there.”

       The Yoshi points over to an overgrown path.

       “Thank you.”

       The Mario Brothers walk over to the overgrown path.

       “Hey Mario?”

       “Yeah.”

       “Why do you always make decisions without me? I did NOT want to go in there.”

       “Life’s tough, get a helmet.”

       Mario tries to punch Luigi in the head, but Luigi blocks Mario’s punch and then returns the favor.

       “OW! Grrr.”

       “Oh what the heck!” Luigi exclaims, “Let’s just go into the jungle already.”

       The Mario brothers venture into the forest and immediately find the green Yoshi crying.

       “What’s wrong?” Asks Mario.

       “WAAHHH! *Sniff* Well, you see,” The Yoshi says in-between sobs, “Me and my friends snuck in here to play hide and seek. I was it. But I couldn’t find anyone and I got scared. So I just stayed here and cried.”

       “Well screw you.” Luigi says. “Personally, I have absolutely NO sympathy for you.” Luigi finishes saying and gives the Yoshi The PESOD!

       “LUIGI! I’m sorry about him. His ignorance embarrasses me.”

       “Hey!” The Yoshi says. “I got an idea! Why don’t you look for my friends?”

       Mario looks over at Luigi who is shaking his head violently and pointing towards the jungle and then making the death sign by sliding his thumb across his neck.

       “We’ll do it!” Mario says. “Luigi here is telling me that we can make killer time!”

       “Oh thank you!” The green Yoshi says.

       “You’re welcome. Come on Luigi, let’s go!”

Chapter 16

Hide and Go Seek

       As the Mario brothers walk into the jungle, Luigi turns to Mario and says, “MARIO! YOU DID IT AGAIN!”

       “No I didn’t. I was going to say no, but you were making the kill sign, so I knew that you wanted to do this. This time, I thought of you when I made my decision.”

       “YOU IDIOT! I MADE THE GET KILLED SIGN, NOT THE KILL SIGN!”

       “OH NOW YOU TELL ME!”

       Mario expresses his anger by kicking a nearby try, and to his great surprise, a yellow Yoshi drops out of it.

       “What the!”

       “Wow thanks. Me and my friends were playing hide and go seek and I thought this tree would make a good hiding place, so a climbed up it and waiting in a branch. The tagger didn’t come so I got tired and feel asleep. Thank you for waking me up, and I have to go home now.”

       Without a word, the yellow Yoshi leaves the forest.

       “Wow, nice work Mario.” Luigi says. “That’s two down and three to go.”

       The Mario brothers continue through the jungle and after a while, hear a faint crying. The crying is coming from behind some rare bushes, called Jewels Eye. The reason it is called this because the berries the Jewels Eye produce look exactly like Rubies, Sapphires, every kind of jewel. Counterfeiters use the fake jewels to con people. So instinctively, Mario pockets quite of few of these berries.

       Luigi carefully makes his way through the Jewels Eye, careful not to damage it. Mario however, just rips them out as he walks by.

       “Well now, you are quite the environmentalist aren’t you?” Luigi says angrily through gritted teeth.

       But oddly enough, the moment the uprooted Jewels Eye hits the ground, it poofs and is magically restored to its roots.

       “Well now.” Mario says. “That’s just gotta be the darndest thin I ever seen.”

       Mario and Luigi continue moving through the Jewels Eye and finally come upon the red Yoshi. The red Yoshi stops crying and looks up at the brothers.

       “Thank you! I was playing Hide and g-.”

       “Yeah, yeah. We know about the Hide and Go seek part. What happened to you?” Mario asks.

       “Well, I saw this pretty bush and went towards it, but all of a sudden, this monster pushed me into this clearing.”

       “Monster? What monster?” Luigi asks.

       “The one you’re standing on.”

       Luigi lifts his foot to see a squired thing that looked like a huge square caterpillar. It is squished and its insides are everywhere.

       “Oh. That’s just plain nasty.”

       “Well, thank you for rescuing me! I’m off to the village!”

       The Yoshi leaves. The Mario Brothers continue into the jungle and hear a faint crying. The crying is coming from a warp tube at the top of a small cliff. At the base of the cliff is a spinning flower, just big enough for someone to stand on it.

       “WOW!” Luigi exclaims. “This is a very rare plant called the Spinning Wind. If you stand on it, it will float you up high. If you stand on it we will be able to reach the cliff!”

       “Are plants hobby for you or something?”

       “Well, after using mushrooms and Fire Flowers, I got interested.”

       Luigi gets on the flower first and is transported to the top of the cliff. Mario follows. Once they are both up there, they go in the warp tube. It is pitch black inside.

       “It’s pitch black in here!” Luigi exclaims.

       “Don’t restate the obvious!”

       “But how are we going to see?”

       “Ummm… Look over there! There’s a small beam of light!”

       “How is that going to help us see?”

       Mario pulls out a handful of Jewels Eye berries and holds them in the light. The whole place lights up. To the Brothers shock (they get shocked a lot, don’t they?) a yellow Yoshi is standing right beside them.

       “Thank you for rescuing me! I found this cool spinning flower and jumped on it and ended up here! I’m going home!”

       The Yoshi leaves.

       “Only one more to go!” Luigi exclaims.

       The Mario brothers get out of the tube and continue on. Shortly later (8:43 minutes) the brothers find the last Yoshi. It is sitting in the clearing in front of them. They would walk up to him, except the fact the two piranha plants were standing next to it holding disrupters (VERY high powered guns).

       “How are you going to get this one?” Luigi asks.

       Mario thinks for a while, then says, “Hold on just a second.”

       Mario walks up to the piranha plants and shows them what appears to be a picture. The piranha plants start laughing VERY hard. The veins on the piranha plants start to rupture, then explode. The blue Yoshi starts talking to Mario, which is obviously the whole, “Thank you for rescuing me” thing. The blue Yoshi then dashes back off to the village. Mario then returns to Luigi.

       “What did you show them that made them laugh that hard?”

       “A picture of you at the Christmas party.”

       “Oh… WHAAAT!?!?!?”

       “Never mind.”

       The Mario brothers go back to the village and hear that the village elder wants to see them. So they go to the village elder.

       “I thank you for rescuing those baby Yoshis.”

       “You’re welcome.” Luigi replies.

       “For that, I will help you get across the lava pit.”

       “Yeah,” Mario says, “all you have to do is jump in the pit. Your fat will no doubt get clogged and then we can easily get acro-.”

       WHACK!

       “Once again, I apologize.”

       “Here, take this seed. It is a Spinning Wind. Plant it at the base of the pit and use it to get across.”

       The Mario brothers leave and go to the pit. They do as the elder instructed and use it to get across. Then they walk into the volcano…

Chapter 17

Into the Volcano

     The first thing that Mario and Luigi notice is the intense heat. The only thing that is preventing the bros from frying is their clothes. If they could repel water, why not fire? There is lava everywhere. Even the stones they walk on are scorching. They are so hot you could fry an egg, which some troops did because there are eggs and bacon frying on one of the stones. Mario goes over to them and eats them. The Mario brothers go into the next room and find a huge lava pit. The door to the next room is at the end of the lava pit.

       “Oh great.” Luigi says. “Now how are we going to get across?”

       “Our clothes are fire proof, so I’ll just walk across.”

       “NO MARIO!”

       “Why?”
       “Because they are heat resistant, not lava proof. But go ahead and walk across. After all, your will says that I get all of your possessions.”

       “Shut it.”

       “Wait a minute. That gave me an idea that is totally unrelated. Look up.”

       Mario looks up and sees big stalactites.

       “So?”

       “So I can throw something at them, then they will fall allowing us to get across!”

       Luigi throws a coin at the stalactite, which does indeed fall into the lava. The stalactite however just makes a big splash and hits the floor (the lava pit isn’t very deep. Then it just melts.

       “That’s odd,” Luigi says. “It works in other games.”

       The big splash that the stalactite caused the lava to hit Mario’s hat, which lights it on fire. He runs around screaming for a while until his hat burns up.

       “NOOOOOOO! I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE HATS!”

       “But I saw you pack three hats.”

       “THOSE WERE METAL CAPS YOU FOOL!”

       “Metal Caps! That’s it! We need to put on the metal caps and walk across!”

       They then do just that. Then the metal caps wear off and Mario gets sad because he doesn’t have a hat. Oddly enough, he finds a costume shop where he buys three Mario hats. They continue on uneventfully (if you are wondering why it is uneventful, it is because Bowser didn’t expect them to get past the first room). The Mario brothers finally find the boss door.

       “Hey Mario,” Luigi says, “Let’s go in together this time, me on the left, you on the right.”

       “Okay, I guess.”

       The Mario brothers go in together. Luigi thinks that he will finally be able to fight a boss. All of a sudden, a stalactite falls from the ceiling and the Mario Bros have to separate. While they are separated, a wall of flames jets up in front of Luigi.

       “ARRRRRRRRRRGH! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME! DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?! DO I HAVE BAD BREATH?!”
       “Can it Luigi.”

       “BWA HA HA HA HA!”

       “Who was that?”

       “I DON’T KNOW BUT I AM REEEALY ANGRY!”

       Bowser appears and begins to speak.

       “Are you that stupid!? Who else has a laugh like that?”

       “Nearly every villain.”

       “Whatever. Now it’s time to take a step back in time. You may not remember the old RPG’s, but I do! I thought that I should revive it.”

       All of a sudden, message boxes start popping up.

       “Let the battle began!” Bowser says with an evil smile.

       “Witch Appears!” One of the boxes read. In another box, a witch appears.

       “Witch attacks first! Witch uses “Ice Blast”!”

       The witch fires a blue orb at Mario, who dodges.

       “Mario Dodges attack! Mario’s turn to attack!”

       “MARIO!” Luigi yells. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! PUNCH HIM!”

       Mario gets right next to the witch and is about to punch him, but instead let’s out a huge burp.

       “Mario uses “Belch”! CRITICAL HIT! Witch is Defeated!”

       “YAHOO!” Mario yells.

       “Slime Appears!”

       “HUH?!”

       “Mario Attacks first”

       Mario laughs evilly as he pulls out a bottle of… salt. He then pours it on the slime.

       “Mario uses “Salt”! CRITICAL HIT! Slime is Defeated! Red Dragon Appears! Red Dragon Attacks first. Red Dragon uses “Claw Shooter”!”

       The Red Dragon’s claws shoot out and Mario ducks just in time.

       “Mario dodges the Attack! Mario’s turn to attack!”

       Mario pulls out a bag of popcorn kernels and throws it into the Red Dragon’s Mouth.

       “Mario uses “Popcorn”! NO EFFECT! Red Dragon’s turn to attack! Red Dragon uses “Flame Breath”!”

       The Red Dragon prepares to spew up some fire, but the popcorn kernels inside the Red Dragon start popping and the Red Dragon suffocates. He passes out and falls on top of Bowser, and then the sheer weight of both of them makes them fall through the floor. Luigi is released and the bag appears. Mario starts beating it with a stick until it stops moving.

       “I have an idea.”

       Mario carries the bag back to the lava pit room and opens the bag. He gets a running start, then jumps in the lava with the toad, using him as a wakeboard. When he gets to the other side, he passes the toad back to Luigi. Luigi then does the same thing to get across. They go back to the village, thank the elder for his help, get on the whale and go back to Toad Town to look for the next castle…

Chapter 18

The Sewers

     Mario and Luigi walk into Toad Town to find the town in panic. There are Koopas everywhere! A toad runs up to them and tells them that the town is in panic.

       “Hmmm…” Mario says. “I probably wouldn’t have guessed that. People are running around screaming their heads off and Koopas are attacking them. How would I have connected that to the town being in panic? I wonder… Hmmm…”

       “Hey Mario,” Luigi says, “Maybe if we help them, we’ll find out where the next castle is!”

       “Maybe. Hey toad, where are the Koopas coming from?”

       “The sewers!”

       “OH GREAT! This are my new clothes! Now I’m going to get them dirty!” Mario yells.

       “Oh come on! We’re both plumbers!”

       “Oh yeah. Heh heh.”

       “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TWO WAITING FOR?! GET TO THE SEWERS!!!”

       “My God!” Luigi yells. “You talk!”

       “Ummm… If you ever get hurt then go to a toad house!”

       The conversation ends with the toad in the toad house. Anyways, they go to the pipe leading to the sewers and jump in. When they arrive at the sewers they have to choose between two passages; one to the right, one to the left.

       “We turn right right now right?” Mario says.

       “No. We turn left!”

       “Right!”

       “Left!”

       “RIGHT!!!”

       “LEFT!!!”

       “PURPLE MONKEY!!!”

       “Huh?”

       “Never mind.”

       “We are going left and I won’t go right!”

       “Oh well. Then I just won’t give your diary back.”

       “YOU TOOK MY DAIRY!”

       “Yep. We go right or you can kiss your diary good bye.”

       “(Sigh). Fine. I’ll go right.”

       The Mario Brothers enter the next room and immediately scream when they see a stampede of Koopas charging towards them.

       “OH CRUD!” Luigi yells. “MARIO! TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!”

       “Why?”

       “JUST DO IT!!!”

       As Mario starts to take off his shoes, Luigi plugs his nose. The moment Mario takes off his shoes, the Koopas immediately faint from the bad smell of Mario’s feet. Mario puts his shoes back on.

       “That wasn’t very nice.” Mario says.

       “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

       “Well… Yeah…”
       The Mario brothers continue on. After a while they get bored and Luigi pushes Mario into the water. After a while they come upon a huge circular castle. It is very big.

       “Hey Mario look! It’s a circular castle. It is very big.”

       “LUIGI! What did I say about stating the obvious?”

       “‘It is wrong to do it unless I do it.’”

       “Dang right.”

       They enter the castle and are surprised on what they see inside…

Chapter 19

The Battle Ring

       It is a boxing ring. A Lakutu comes down with a camera attached to the end of a fishing rod.

       “Okay listen’ up. Ya’ll gotta fight yo way thru dis here ring. Beat da enemy here, an yu advance ta da next flor. Thare are five flors. Got dat? Buy da way, whut’s yo name?”

       “M to the A to the R to the I to the O! Got dat Homey-L?” Mario says.

       “Shat up! Lat da battle began!”

       Ten Goombas enter the ring. Mario simply jumps on all of their heads.

A staircase appears in the center of the ring. The Mario brothers go up the staircase and are in the center of another ring. Ten Koopas enter the ring. Mario jumps on one of the Koopas’ heads but the Koopa simply goes into its shell, then pops back out again.

       “That won’t work.” Luigi states.

       “Sure it will. It always works…”

       Mario attempts again but fails.

       “Fine then. Do you have an idea?”

       “Yes. Jump on them then kick them into the others.”

       Mario jumps on one of the Koopas and does just that. The Koopa slides into three of the others and all four are knocked out. Then spikes pop out of the other six Koopas shells.

       “Well,” Luigi says, “Let’s drop that idea.”

       The Koopas then charge at the both of them. Mario dives out of the way just in time but Luigi is hit. Hard.

       “OWWWIEE!!!”

       Mario gets really pissed and kicks one in the face. While it’s still in the air, he kicks it at the others. Four get knocked out, including the one that Mario kicked. The remaining one charges, but Mario gives a hard kick and the final one gets knocked out cold. Mario rushes over to Luigi.

       “Are you okay?”

       “No.”

       “Can you walk?”

       “Yes.”

       “Can I have your shoes?”

       “NO! I don’t think I can fight though. I’ll just be on the side lines and tell you what to do.”

       The staircase appears and the Mario brothers go up it. They are in yet another ring. Three Spineys enter the ring.

       “Mario!” Luigi yells, “Don’t even try to touch them! You’ll just get hurt!”

       One of the Spineys tries to run into Mario, but since it’s moving so incredibly slow, Mario easily dodges. Mario then rips out one of the ropes on the ring and uses it as a whip on the Spiney. The Spiney falls apart. Mario uses the rope/whip on the other Spineys.
       “This is starting to lack humor.” Mario mutters under his breath.

       A staircase appears and Mario and Luigi walk up it. They are now in a HUGE ring.

       “What’s with the big ring?” Mario asks Luigi.

       His question is answered when thirty Koopas enter the ring. Along with them are forty Goombas, ten Buzzy Beetles, fifty Paratroopas, fifteen Spineys, five Chargin’ Chucks, seventeen Blastoises, eighteen Charzards, eleven Venisours, twenty seven Belomes, six Digimon, sixty six worms carrying Banana Bombs, twelve Storm Troopers carrying Heavy Repeating Blasters, seventy eight Sharpclaw, twenty two Tekitites, one hundred Re-dead, a potato named Kabagi, one hundred and one angry hobos carry shotguns, three AT-ATs, two turtle doves, a partridge and a pear tree with exploding fruit, and a monkey throwing poop.

       “AHHHHHH!!!!!! DON’T HURT ME!!!!! I GIVE UP!!!!!!!” Mario screams as he throws his hands up in the air. The sheer stench of Mario’s armpit knocks them all out, including Luigi. Mario goes over to Luigi and revives him by kicking him in the shins.

       “You really need to get deodorant.

       “Fine with me.”

       A staircase appears and the Mario brothers go up it. They are in a ring (duh) and in the middle of the ring is…

       “BOWSER!”

       “BWAH HA HA HA! You think you can beat me?”

       “Yes.”

       “Probably true, but you’re not going to fight me. Meet your final opponent.”

       The room goes dark. A door at the other end of the room opens with a billow of smoke. A figure emerges from the door. The figure is fat and has a mustache. It also has pointy shoes.

       “Meet your doom!” Bowser says.

       The lights come back on it the figure appears to be…

       “WARIO!”

       “WEH HE HE HE HE HE! We meet again Mario!”

       “Let the battle began!” Bowser says as he rings a bell.”

       Mario and Wario circle each other. Wario charges at Mario at attempts to punch Mario in the face. Mario blocks with two hands, grabs Wario’s arm with his left hand, and punches Wario in the face with his right. He then grabs Wario’s arm with both hands and twists it so that Wario does a horizontal spin onto the floor. Mario then attempts to punch Wario in the face, but Wario blocks and then throws Mario over his shoulder. They both get up and Wario attempts to punch Mario. Mario blocks, but his hit with a swift uppercut. While Mario is on the ground, Wario body slams him. Mario gets up but is immediately hit and slams against the wall, almost KO’d. Wario winds up for the final blow, but Mario sticks something in his own mouth. Wario let’s his blow fly, but Mario blocks. He then punches Wario then gives a very powerful kick which sends Wario flying across the room. He slams into Bowser and then they both smash through the wall and out of sight.

       “What the heck was that thing you stuck in your mouth?”

       “Whackas bump. Remember?”

       “Oh yeah.”

       The bag magically pops out of nowhere and the toad rips out of the bag. He is wearing a black belt. He does all these cool karate moves and then charges at Mario, who simply kicks the toad. The toad goes careening out the window into the sewer water. Luigi then notices a note attached to the bag. He picks it up and reads it out loud.

       “The next castle is frozen into the snowy peak.”

       “Interesting. Let’s get out of here.” Mario says. “It isn’t funny enough.”

       “I agree.”

       They leave and look for hopefully the final castle…

Chapter 20

The Snowy Summit

       As Mario and Luigi are about to leave the sewers, Luigi feels a cold breeze coming from the left passage they had an argument over earlier.

       “I think we should go in the left passage now.”

       “You’re just saying that because you’re hurt. Pain can make people do stupid things.

       “No, I think we should go to the left.”

       “You need Tylenol 8-hour relief.”

       “WE NEED TO GO INTO THE LEFT PASSAGE!”

       “Look Luigi. I’m smarter than you; I know we need to go back to Toad Town.” Mario says as he struggles with the child proof seal on the Tylenol 8-hour. It clearly says push, then pull, but Mario is trying to twist it off. Luigi grabs it from him and opens it immediately.

       “Ummm…”

       “We are going left.”

       “FINE! IF IT WILL SHUT YOU UP!”

       They travel for a while and encounter the monkey that throws poop. After that encounter, they desperately need to take a shower. They finally reach a pipe with icicles hanging on it. They go in it. When they emerge, they realize that they should have brought a jacket.

       “OH G-G-GOSH IT’S C-C-COLD!” Luigi says.

       “I’m not cold.”

       “W-W-WHY N-N-NOT?”

       “Because I’m so dang hot and sexy.”

       “C-C-COME ON MARIO, I J-J-JUST ATE!”

       “No you didn’t. You never eat.”

       “W-w-what about in the f-f-forest?”

       “I ate the mushrooms.”

       “…”

       “Let’s move on.”

       “L-l-let’s try to find a store, w-w-we n-n-need jackets.”

       They trek through the snow for a good forty minutes until they find a store. By the time they reach it, Mario has icicles growing out of his nose. The store manager comes and greets them.

       “Welcome to my store! It looks like you’re cold. It just happens that I have to spectacular jackets for sale! Would you like to see them?”

       Without waiting for an answer, the manager holds up two old, crusty, moth eaten jackets. To make it worse, the only thing that would fit in it is a sock puppet.

       “Do you think we’re that stupid?” Luigi says.

       “Ooo! They’re sooo cute! Do they come in blue?”

       “MARIO!”

       “Uhh, I mean, do you have anything wearable?”

       “You can wear this on your hand.”

       Mario and Luigi notice that the manager is wearing two very warm jackets. They look at each other, then knock out the manager and steal the jackets, including the sock puppet ones. To make a long story short, the Mario bros went to a fortune teller to find out which mountain the castle was on. They then went there. They started to climb, but about halfway up, Mario slipped and fell all the way back down. Once again, he claimed that Luigi had pushed him. Anyways, they reach the top and enter the icy castle…

Chapter 21

The Frozen Castle

       They enter and see two Stalfos, but they are frozen in ice. There are ice mirrors everywhere also.

       “What’s with the mirrors?” Luigi asks Mario.

       “So I can look at my gorgeous self.” Mario says as he gazes into one of the mirrors. After Mario finally stops, they go into the next room. They see one angry looking Hammer Bro on the bridge leading into the next room.

       “Hey Mario, go talk to it.”

       “But it might hit me!”

       “So?”

       “I will get hurt!”

       “So?”

       “That will inflict pain!”

       “SO?”

       “SO WATCH ME MAKE YOU GO TALK TO IT!”

       Mario picks up Luigi and throws him at the Hammer Bro. Luigi lands right at its feet. The Hammer Bro does not look happy.

       “Umm, hello Mister Hammer Bro.”

       “ERRR.”

       “Umm, may we pass?”

       “ERRR!”

       “Well that’s not very nice!”

       “Errr?”

       “No it isn’t. You need some fun in your life.”

       “Errr.”

       “Hear, take these small jacket. You can make sock puppets out of them.”

       The Hammer Bro immediately starts playing with them. However, he is pretending that the jackets are the Mario bros and hit one of the sock puppets as hard as he can. Unfortunately, it is on his hand, so he hits himself, yelps with pain, and falls off the edge.

       “Way to go Luigi! I couldn’t have done better. Actually I could. I’m just making you feel better.”

       “Riiight.”

They continue on until the reach the boss door.

       “Hey Mario. Could we switch clothes?”

       “NO! YOU DERANGED PERVERT! But out of curiosity, why do you ask?”

       “Because something always happens that I can’t fight the boss. If we switch clothes, maybe you’ll get captured instead of me and I can fight the boss.”

       “No.”

       “Please?”

       “NO!”

       “Pretty please?”

       “NO!!”

       “Pretty p-.”

       “NO!!!”

       “Fine. Be that way.”

       “I will.”

       They finally decide to walk in together. They do so, but a icicle from the ceiling falls in between them, forcing them to separate. Luigi then slips into some water and get frozen.

       “Luigi? Are you alright?”

       Luigi’s curses are muffled by the ice. All of a sudden, all the ice around them melts; expect the one Luigi’s frozen in of course. Now Mario is standing on a platform just like in Super Mario World. Bowser appears in his copter clown.

       “YOU CAN’T BEAT ME NOW MARIO! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!”        

       “Shut up and start throwing the Mecha Koopas already.”

       “Do you really think I’m that stupid?”

       “Yes.”

       “I’m not though. I’m not throwing anything you can throw back at me this time! I shall be triumphant!”

       “Good idea! Why don’t you just throw some Bomb-ombs?”

       “I will. But they moment they hit anything, they blow up!”

       “Oh crud.” Mario says under his breath.”

       “Prepare to die Mario!”

       Bowser starts flying around in his Clown Copter and chucks Bomb-ombs at Mario, who is having trouble dodging them. The shrapnel keeps hitting him.

       “Is that the best you can do?” Mario yells.

       “No.”

       Bowser reaches for the stick shift and puts it the highest gear possible. However, he did it so hard that the stick rips off. Bowser simply throws it over his back. Mario runs over to the stick and grabs it. He then throws it at the propeller. It gets jammed, but the engine is still running. The engine overheats and the clown copter explodes, sending Bowser flying. Luigi is released from the ice and the bag floats down from the ceiling. It opens and out comes the toad.

       “Thank you for rescuing, but our princess is in another castle!”

       “Stop it now.” Mario says.

       “Thank you for rescuing, but our princess is in another castle!”

       “DON’T TEST ME TOAD!”

       “Thank you for rescuing, but our princess is in another castle!”

       “THAT’S IT!”

       Mario picks up the toad and throws him in the water. The toad freezes. Luigi looks over at the bag and notices that there is a note attached. He reads it out loud.

       “‘To get to the final castle, use the Rainbow Road.’”

       “Who wrote these notes?”

       “Doesn’t matter, it’s helping us!”

       To make another long story short, they go back to toad town to find a way to get to Rainbow Road…

Chapter 22

To the final castle

        “How in the world are we going to find Rainbow road?” Luigi asks Mario.

       “I don’t know. Let’s look around.”

       Mario and Luigi go around Toad Town, asking everybody where rainbow road is. No luck.

       “That was completely pointless.” Luigi says.

       “Well there’s one place we haven’t checked yet.”

       “Where’s that?”

       “The message board.”

       They go over and read the message board which just talking about how dangerous old trampolines can be. It also has an ad for plumbing. Mario rips off that ad and replaces it with their plumbing ad.

       “No luck.” Mario says.

       But Luigi looks behind the message board.

       “What the heck are you doing?”

       “It’s the Toad Underground news. Doesn’t look like it’s her-. HEY! I FOUND IT!”

       Mario rushes over and reads what’s written there.

       “Getting tired of all the race tracks here? Take a new and exciting race at Rainbow Road!”

       To make a very long story short, the Mario brothers book a race time on rainbow road. They are then magically transported to Rainbow Road. If you want to know why they had to be magically transported, Rainbow Road is in space. It is a road made of a rainbow, hence the name.

       “How can we breathe?” Luigi asks Mario.

       “?”

       They walk on the road until they see Bowser’s castle floating in the sky. It is a ways away from the track though. Plus, where the closest place to the castle is, there is another Hammer Bro. This one is very big though.

       “DON’T TAKE ANOTHER STEP!”

       “But we’re just taking a walk.” Mario says.

       “Yeah right. I have orders from the top to not let two plumbers through. I was also told to especially not let two plumbers wearing green and red through.”

       “You’re not seeing those colors, you’re just color blind.” Mario says.

       “Look, you can’t fool me, and you certainly can’t fight me and win.”

       “You know, you’re right.” Mario says. “But that doesn’t matter. Come here Mikey!”

       “That stupid author doesn’t scare me!”

       “It’s not the author, its much, much worse.”

       Michael Jackson walks up to the Hammer Bro and starts singing and dancing. Mario and Luigi plug their ears, but the Hammer Bro isn’t as lucky.

       “AHHHH! THE SINGING!!! THE DANCING!!! THE UGLY FACE!!!”

       The Hammer Bro jumps off the edge and dies.

       “Luigi,” Mario says, “only we can do the deed that will benefit all of mankind.”

       After saying this, Mario and Luigi push Michael Jackson off the edge.

       “NOOOO! I’LL HAVE TO GET MORE PLASTIC SURGERY!!!” Michael screams as he plummets off the edge.

       “Well, that solves that problem,” Luigi says, but how are we going to get across?”

       All of a sudden, a voice echoes through the air.

       “We six will gather our power to create a bridge to the evil ones lair.”

       A bridge appears leading to Bowser’s castle.

       “Interesting.” Mario says.

       “Yeees. Very interesting.”

       They cross and are at the entrance to the castle. One problem; it’s guarded by seven Hammer Bros.

       “We don’t know how you got past the other guard, but we won’t let you get past us!”

       “Mario.”

       “Yeah.”

       “We’re in trouble.”

       “Thank you for rescuing me! But our princess is in another castle!”

                  “What was that?”

       “I don’t know.”

       “Thank you for rescuing me! But our princess is in another castle!”

            “It’s getting louder!”

       The Mario brothers look behind them to see all seven toads running towards them. One has a rock implanted in his head, one is covered in sand, one has the front side of his body smashed in, one is dripping wet and has blue lips, one is covered with burn marks, one is covered with sewage, and one has frost bite all over it.

       “Thank you for rescuing me! But our princess is in another castle!”

       “MAKE IT STOP!” One of the guards screams.

       All the toads line up, and yell the evil line all at once. Mario and Luigi cover their ears.

       “THANK YOU FOR RESCUING ME! BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!”

       “AHHH!!!”

       The guards die of internal hemorrhage.

       “Well, the entrance is wide open. Let’s go!”

       The Mario brothers walk into the final castle…

       But wait! Another figure walks across the bridge and into the castle…

Chapter 23

THE FINAL CASTLE!

     Mario and Luigi enter the castle to find eight doors. They have the numbers one through seven on them. The eighth door has seven key holes in it. The first door is unlocked.

       “I think I get it.” Luigi says.

       “Good, because I’m totally lost.”

       “You idiot! It’s not too hard to figure out! We go through each room and get the key and put them in the key holes. Once we go through them all, we can get through the final door!”

       “I knew that.”

       “Then why did you ask?”

       “…”

       “Let’s go already!”

       They walk towards the first door and open it. They walk in and find it to be the exact same room in the first castle. It had the lava pit, the walls, everything!

       “How are we going to get across?”

       “Jump, like we did last time.”

       “Ummm. I can’t jump that far.”

       “You did last time.”

       “Barely.”

       “JUST JUMP!”

       “NO!”

       “ARRRGH!”

       Luigi kicks Mario hard and Mario flies over the pit and onto the other side. Then Luigi jumps to the other side.

       “You really need to lose some weight.”

       “Shut up.”

       They both go into the next room and find a golden key. Mario goes to pick it up, but the moment he touches it, they are warped to the first room. The key is already in the door. Door number two gets unlocked. The Mario Brother go in it. In the next room is a room exactly like in the second castle.

       “Luigi.”

       “Yes.”

       “Don’t step on the tile again.”

       “I’ll try not to.”

       Luigi carefully steps over the step that trigged the trap. Unfortunately, this new trap is motion censored, and Luigi triggers it. But instead of scythes coming down from the ceiling, saw blades come up from the floor. But before they do, Mario sees the control box at the exit.

       “STOP SETTING OFF TRAPS!”

       The saw blades somehow are homing blades, and two head for Mario. The other two head for Luigi. The Mario brothers start running as fast as they can. Mario runs towards a wall, does the Matrix run-up-the-wall-and-back-flip-off-it-old-school-style thing. The saw blades crash into the wall and break. Mario makes a break for the exit, but a wall of saws spurt up from the ground. Mario makes a slow motion dive over the saw blades. Then every single saw, including the wall of saws, home on Luigi, who screams like a little girl. Mario shuts off the saws just before they hit Luigi.

       “No sweat.” Mario says as sweat drops drip off his face.

       The Mario brothers go into the next room to find the key. They touch it and are transported back into the first room with the key in the keyhole. Door number three opens. The Mario brothers go in it. As soon as they go through the door, it slams shut behind them and locks itself from the outside.

       “What was that?”

       “The door closing you idiot!”

       “No not that. THAT!”

       Luigi points to a huge Boo right in front of them. It is transparent.

       “Looks like it won’t hurt us.” Mario says.

       The Mario brothers turn away from the Boo, but then it becomes solid and moves towards them. Luigi looks behind his back at the Boo, but it becomes transparent again.

       “Something tells me this is going to be a mini boss battle.” Mario says.

       Mario turns around and throws an object at the Boo. The Boo becomes transparent and the object sails through him. Mario turns around and throws a knife behind his back. It hits the Boo and he dies.

       “That was easy.” Mario says.

       The door at the other end of the room opens. There is a key there, they touch it and guess what happens? Door number four unlocks and they go through it. In the next room is a pit filled with water. In the water, are various dangerous animals.

       “Let’s see if it’s safe to swim across.” Luigi says.

       He throws a coin into the water. The moment it hits the water, a shark eats it.

       “Something tells me that it isn’t safe.” Mario says.

       Luigi suddenly gets an idea. He breaks down the down behind him, gets a running start, and uses the door as a wakeboard. A shark smashes into the door from underneath. Luigi goes flying and lands on the other side, but the door sinks to the bottom of the water.

          “OH GREAT! Now how am I supposed to get across?” Mario says.

          “Just wait over there. After all, the key is in the next room.”

          “Oh yeah.”

          Luigi opens the door to find the key… guarded by three Hammer Bros.

          “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING HERE!” one of the Hammer Bros yells.

          “To get the key.”

          “WELL GUESS WHAT WORM? WE AIN’T GIVIN IT TO YA!”

          “I didn’t want to have to resort to this.”

          Luigi shows them an extremely funny picture of Mario at the Christmas party. The Hammer Bros start chuckling. Then they start giggling. Then they start laughing really hard. They all laugh so hard that they get a heart attack and die. Luigi goes over to the key and touches it. He is transported back to the first room. The key is already in the keyhole. Mario meets up with Luigi and go into door number five. The has a big pit of lava with very small stepping stones.

          “My gosh! This room is going to be a synch!”

          Mario jumps on one of the stones. The stone sinks very fast and Mario burns his butt. He goes flying to the entrance of the room.

          “I hate it when that happens.”

          Luigi tries do to the same thing, and quickly jumps from stone to stone. However, each time that Luigi jumps on one, it breaks apart. He reaches the last one, but the moment he touches it, it breaks. Luigi is sent flying back to the beginning.

          “My gosh. We’re in trouble.” Mario says.

          A Koopa Troopa walks over to them and starts laughing his puny head off. Mario jumps on it, making it go back into its shell. Mario then gets an idea. He uses the Koopa Shell as a surfboard to get across. He tosses the Koopa back to Luigi, who does the same thing. In the next room is a Belome guarding the key.

          “Ohhh. I’m STARVING! IT’S TIME TO EAT!”

          Mario takes some Chili Peppers out of his pocket and throws it into the Belome’s mouth.

          “Ohhh. Room service has been so kind to me!”

          He dies because he is allergic to spices.

          “Where did you get the Chili Peppers?”

          Meanwhile on Zombie Island…

          Shaggy reaches into his pocket for the chili peppers to stall the zombie. He feels nothing.

          “ZOINKS!”

          “RRRAAAARRRRRHH!!!”

          “Let’s not look into that.”

          They touch the key and are back in the first room again. The key is already in the keyhole blah blah blah. They go in the sixth door. They are in the battle ring yet again. In the middle of the ring are six Hammer Bros.

          “I’ll handle this one.” Mario says to Luigi as he pushes him out of the way.

          One of the Hammer Bros throws his hammer at Mario. He kicks it up in the air, and kicks it back at the Hammer Bro. It knocks him out. Another Hammer Bro charges and tries to hit Mario, who dodges and grabs the hammer from the KO’d Bro. He uses it to smash in the other Bros face. All of the other four charge at once. Mario jumps at the last second and they all crash into each other. He lands on one of the Hammer Bros, knocking him out. One of the Hammer Bro gets up and swings his hammer at Mario, who dodges and throws his hammer at the Bro. It hits him in the face and he gets knocked out. Mario goes over and grabs both hammers. Another Bro gets up, and Mario smashes him with both hammers. The final one gets up. Mario hits him in the side of the face with one hammer, then the other side with the other hammer. He gets knocked to the floor and Mario smashes him with both hammers. He gets KO’d.

          “An excellent display of violence Mario.” Luigi says.

          “Thank you.”

          A staircase appears and the Mario brothers go up it. They see the key and grab it. They are transported back to the first room. There’s only one more door to go! They go in the seventh door. In the room is just an ice floor with the door at the other end. They start walking across.

          “This is easy. Too easy.” Mario says.

          RUMBLE RUMBLE!

          “What was that?” Mario says.

          “Mario. Look up.” Luigi says with his eyes wide open.

          Mario looks up and sees stalactites wobbling.

          “RUN!!!” Mario yells.

          The Mario brothers run to the next room, dodging stalactites.

          In the next room is the key. Behind it is an army of Fire Brothers.

          “WE HAVE YOU TRAPPED!”

          “Not really!” Mario yells.

          They both grab the key and are transported to the first room. All of the keys are in the keyholes. They turn one by one and the door disappears in a flash of light, revealing a pipe.

          “This is it.” Mario says. “The final battle. Are you ready?”

          “I was born ready.”

          The both run towards the tube side by side. Suddenly, a trap door opens up below Luigi. He screams and falls down it. Mario skids to a halt and runs over to Luigi.

          “Luigi! Are you okay!”

          The next paragraph is censored because otherwise, this story would automatically be rated T (Teen), maybe even M (Mature).

          Mario turns towards the Warp Pipe, takes a deep breath, and jumps in.

Chapter 24

THE FINAL BATTLE !

          Mario falls and lands on his butt. He gets up and looks around. He is in a pentagon arena made of black stone. He notices that the platform is suspended in the sky! Then Bowser drops out of the sky. This is it… THE FINAL BATTLE !

          Bowser speaks. “MARIO! You have bested me with wit and strength. But now, it is impossible for you to win! For I have the power of the stars (Super Mario 64), and the Star Rod (From Paper Mario)! YOU CAN’T WIN!”

          “We’ll see about that!”

          Bowser blows flames at Mario, who easily jumps over the flames. Mario then circles around and grabs Bowser’s tail. But the moment he grabs it, he is shot back by some strange electrical force.

          “How do you like my invincibility that I got from the Star Rod? Mwha ha ha ha ha ha!”

          Then Bowser blows a huge fireball at Mario, who doesn’t have enough time to react. The fireball hits Mario and he is sent flying. He slides to the edge of the arena and slides off the edge. Mario just manages to grab on to the edge. He climbs back onto the arena and puts his fists out, ready to fight again.

          Bowser then somehow manages to get a burst of speed and rushes towards Mario and throws him to the other edge of the arena. Mario skids to a halt. Mario gets up, still determined.

          “You just don’t give up, do you? Well I’ll just have to teach you a lesson!”

          Bowser summons a giant black spherical mine into his hand throws it at Mario. Mario rolls out of the way just in time, but is hit by another mine that was thrown by Bowser’s other hand. Mario goes flying, once again. He lands and then gets up. But this time, Mario is trying extremely hard just to stay upright and is swaying on the spot.

          “That’s it. I’m going to end it right now!” Bowser yells.

          He stomps towards Mario and blows a stream of fire. Then fire is just a matter of seconds away from Mario…

          “NO! I WON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!”

          Just as the flames are about to reach Mario, Luigi tackles Mario and escape from the fire.

          “Luigi!” Mario says shakily. “How… You… Get… Here?”

          “I wall jumped. Did ya just think I was gonna just stand in that pit? No. I’m here to fight! SO GET UP AND GET TO WORK!”

          Luigi helps Mario up.

          “Listen Luigi.” Mario says. “We gotta double team him. There’s no other way!”

          “Gotcha. Let’s do this.”

          They split up. Mario runs to the right, and Luigi runs to the left. Luigi charges, but Bowser swipes his hand right into Luigi’s face. He falls back. Mario rushes in but is hit hard in the side, courtesy of Bower’s tail.

          “We’ve got to attack both at once!” Luigi yells.

          Luigi runs to the front of Bowser, and Mario runs to the back. Mario charges and it looks like he’s going for a low hit. Bowser kicks were Mario should have been, but Mario had done of feint. He hits Bowser in the back of the neck. He falls forward and is met by Luigi’s uppercut. Bowser falls back, then gets up. Mario and Luigi charge from either side of Bowser and both smash into him at the same time. The Star Rod goes flying, and the Stars shoot out from him too. He is vulnerable. Luigi kicks Bowser in the gut, and Mario elbows him on top of the head while he is bent over. Luigi kicks Bowers in the head while he is on the ground. Bowser skids across the arena and gets one heck of a friction burn that hurts even to think about. Bowser gets up, staggers and falls back down. He gets up, but his trying as hard as he can just to keep standing. Mario and Luigi do a double punch to the face, and Bowser falls for the last time. Mario and Luigi fall over panting.

          “Very tiring, eh Luigi?”

          Luigi is too tired to speak. Mario walks over to the Power Star Bowser had and picks it up.

          “That will would be mine!” Mario says as he grabs the Power Star.

           A bag suddenly poofs in front of them. The bag wiggles, the binding falls off. The Mario Brothers lean forward, eager to see the princess. Out comes...

          HUH?! Well… It’s a princess alright. But this princess is wearing a white dress with the symbol of a shield on it. She has pointy ears and has long blond hair. It’s not Peach!

          “ZELDA!”

          The brothers turn around to find someone behind them. This man is wearing a green tunic. He has a sword and a shield.

          “LINK!” Says the princess.

          “Whoa.” Mario says. “Wait a minute. Okay, I assume that your name is Link. But what the heck are you doing here?!”

          “Well,” Link starts. “I got this note thrown through my window and…”

          “Wait a minute!” Luigi yells. “We got a note too!”

          Link continues to talk, “My note said, ‘I have kidnapped the princess. Don’t even try rescuing her!’ Wait a minute! Something is on the back!” Link reads it out loud, “Just even trying to rescue Princess Peach is laughable!”

          Luigi looks at the back of his note, “Don’t even think about trying to rescue Zelda!”

          “Well,” Link says, “We better get going.” He pulls out an ocarina. Zelda does the same. They both play the ‘Prelude of Light’ and warp.

          “Riiight.” Mario says. “I’m kinda happy that Link found Zelda… BUT WHERE’S PEACH!”

          In a magical burst of light, Peach appears right in front of the two plumbers. “Thank you for rescuing me.”

          “It was nothing Peach.” Mario says, blushing.

          Peach turns to Luigi, “Mario and Luigi, I am in your debt.”

          “It was nothing.” Mario yells.

          “Then you don’t want your twenty five thousand dollar reward? Oh well.”

          “WAIT!” Luigi yells. “HE DIDN’T MEAN THAT!!!”

          “Too late.”

          A warp pipe suddenly appears in the arena and out comes the seven toads. They start chanting, “Thank you Mario and Luigi. You rescued the princess! Three cheers for The Mario brothers! Yay!”

          They go over to Luigi and carry him above their heads.

          “Mario and Luigi are the hero!” They yell. They carry both of them into the warp pipe and go back to Mushroom Kingdom.

Chapter 25

Aftermath

          Two days later…

          Luigi is in his secret room under the floorboards. Luigi is finishing writing about his adventure in his diary. He writes the last paragraph.

          “Well, that’s it. It was really fun having an adventure. I haven’t been on that many, but Mario has. He probably didn’t think too much of it since he’s been on so many adventures without me. It would be nice to go on an adventure by myself. I hope I will. Bye.”

          Luigi finishes and jumps on the spring pad and up to the bedroom. He goes to the refrigerator to get some food (after all, he didn’t eat through the entire adventure). He gets it and sits down at the table. Mario walks in the door.

          “Hey, Luigi! We actually got some mail.”

          “You mean real mail?”

          “Yep, for once it’s not fan mail!”

          “Really?!”

          “Uh-huh. It’s an invitation to a party by the looks of it.”

          Mario reads the letter and then gasps.

          “OH MY GOSH! It’s from Peach! She wants us to come to her party!”

          “WOW! When is it?”

          “In an hour.”

          “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

          The Mario bros. go out the front door and into the warp pipe to Toad Town. They get out and go into the castle.

          “Thank goodness there isn’t a boss at the end of this castle.” Mario says to Luigi as they go into the castle.

          There is nothing inside the first room. The lights are out too.

          “It’s quiet. Too quiet.”

          Mario breaks the silence by farting.

          “MARIO! THAT’S DISGUSTING!”

          Suddenly, tons of party guests jump out from their hiding spots and yells “Surprise!” all at once. The lights turn back on to revile party streamers and all that other stuff at parties, including a food table. Mario runs over to the food table and starts eating. The Mario brothers enjoy themselves for a while until the door at the top of the staircase opens. Out walks Peach. All of the commotion stops.

          “I would like to make an announcement.” Peach says. “As you all know, Bowser had once again captured me. The Mario Brothers deserve a special award.”

          Mario and Luigi stand up walks up to where Peach is.

          “Firstly, to Mario. The courageous award.”

          Peach gives a medal to Mario that has a loin engraved on it.

          “Mario showed tremendous courage (and some stupidity) throughout the adventure. He was also the one who took care of all the enemies. And to Luigi, the Master Mind award.”

          Peach give Luigi and medal that has an atom engraved on it.

          “Luigi here came up with the ideas and knew various facts about items that helped this adventure come to a successful end. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart.”

          Mario and Luigi goes back to sit down. They enjoy the party for the rest of the day. At night, the two triumphant heroes head back home.

Two Months Later…

          Luigi is getting ready for an adventure.

          “Well Mario, I’m leaving.”

          “Okay.”

          “Take care of the house.”

          “I will.”

          “Don’t keep the stove on.”

          “I won’t.”

          “Bye.”

          “Bye.”

The End

                Well, that ends the first adventure. That’s right, I said first adventure. There are more to come. In fact, the next one is called The Mario Story: Darkness in Delfino. I hope you had fun reading this, I had fun writing it! But it’s not quite done. Read on for some comments, facts, and list of stolen ideas. Also have fun reading the outtakes. That’s all!

Chapter 26

Comments n Outtakes

          I’d like to start off this chapter with the list of stolen ideas. They aren’t exactly stolen, just “borrowed for all eternity”. Without further ado, here is the list.

1.     The Mario Bros. and the enemies and places (Duh)

2.     Super Smash Bros. Melee, you know, when Luigi was playing it?

3.     The whole story line is based on Paper Mario, such as where they go and the places.

4.     Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, when I mention Ultra Jump and Ultra Flame.

5.     The Health bars above the Goombas' heads; that would be from Paper Mario.

6.     Ultra Jump is also from Mario RPG

7.     Freaky-deaky is from Austin Powers: Goldmember.

8.     The ‘essence-de-la-pizza’ is actually from Garfield , but it was a perfume called ‘essence-de-la-lasagna’.

9.     Ultra Flame is from Mario RPG.

10. The stream of fire over the head thing is from the Mario movie.

11. The boss door is from Super Mario World.

12. The metal cap is from Super Mario 64.

13. The bag with the rope is from the Super Mario All-stars remake of Super Mario Bros.

14. Toad houses are from Paper Mario.

15.  A Whacka is a creature in Paper Mario.

16. Diglit, Pokeball, “Gotta catch em all!”… hmm. I wonder where that’s from…

17. The swinging scythes… I don’t know. I went to circuit city and saw part of a movie where this guy was jumping from scythe to scythe. I believe it was “Dungeons and Dragons”.

18. After Mario’s hat snuffs it, he says, “Luckily, I have a spare.” All of you Austin Powers fans out there know that it’s from Goldmember.

19. 27 is an inside joke that I made up.

20. When Mario pushes Bowser into the quicksand… I got that idea from the credits in Super Mario Sunshine (?).

21. The line, “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” is obviously from Ghost Busters.

22. The not-so-scary exterior idea was stolen from Bored of the Rings (Yes, I meant to say ‘bored’).

23. Alice is my school teacher.

24. The line, “But I don’t wanna!” Is from Erich Lauffs.

25. The line, “Life’s tough, get a helmet” is from Kevin Mitchell.

26. I made up the ‘Sporen Piranha Plant’, but it was a stolen from the bomb spore plant in Starfox Adventures and a piranha plant.

27. The whole Sporen Piranha Plant sequence is obviously from Harry Potter.

28. The platforms and the bubbles are from Super Mario World.

29. Strangely enough, “Oy Michael!” is from Harry Potter.

30. The TK-421 thing is from “Star Wars”.

31. Slippy Toad, Falco Lombardi, and Peppy Hare are from the Star Fox series.

32. Thermal Detonator, also from Star Wars.

33. Oddly enough, the argument with the parachuting monkey’s wearing skirts actually happened in a class at my school once.

34. The “he had too much Vodka” is another inside joke.

35. The sequence when the Yoshi is saying that he has back problems is from the Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.

36. Disrupters are also from Star Wars.

37. When Mario shows the Piranha plants the Christmas Party picture, that is actually from Spongebob.

38. The RPG boss battle is from Kirby Superstar for the SNES.

39. When Mario says, “We turn right right now right?”, my sister said that when she was driving once.

40. When Luigi keeps re-stating the obvious in the exact wording of what I wrote is also from Bored of the Rings.

41. When Mario tries to go “ghetto”, that is from The Hot Chick.

42. Okay, here we go: the Koopas, Goombas, Buzzy Beetles, Paratroopas, Spineys, Chargin’ Chucks, and Belomes are from Mario. The Blastoises, Charzards, and Venisours are from Pokemon. Digimon are from Digimon. The Worms carrying Banana Bombs are from the Worms game series. Storm Troopers carrying Heavy Repeating Blasters and AT-ATs are from Star Wars. Sharpclaw are from Star Fox Adventures. Tekitites and Re-dead are from Zelda. A potato named Kabagi is stolen from a prank website. WHEW!

43. When Mario throws his hands up in the air and everyone gets knocked out is from a commercial.

44. The Stalfos frozen in ice are form the LTTP (Link to the Past) comics series.

45. When Mario says, “That will inflict pain!” Is from another fan fic.

46. Rainbow Road is from Mario Kart.

47. The Toad Underground is from Paper Mario.

48. The line, “Only we have the power to do the one deed that will benefit mankind” is from Mafia.

49. The line, “We six sages will gather our power.” Is from Ocarina of Time.

50. Dieing of internal hemorrhage is a joke from Eric.

51. The Chili Peppers are from Scooby Doo on Zombie Island.

52. When Luigi says, “An excellent display of violence Mario.” Is from Star Wars: Jedi Star fighter.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for…

OUTTAKES!!!

Chapter 1

Outtakes

Brick throw: take 1.

          Mario is stuffing himself with anything edible while Luigi is playing Super Smash Brothers Melee. Luigi is beating the tar out of Bowser (which is one of his big dreams. The other one is being more popular then Mario. The last one is to star in at least three games). The house is very quiet. The silence is broken by Mario choking on a meatball. Then the window is broken by a brick thrown through it. The brick however, misses Luigi and hits the TV.

          “NOOO! I WAS WINNING! I WANT MY MOMMIE!”

Brick Throw: Take 2

          Then the window is broken by a brick thrown through it. The brick misses Luigi yet again, but hits the Gamecube.

          “NOOOOOO! MY GAMECUBE! Well at least my game survived.”

          Luigi rips off the cover o find that his game doesn’t exist anymore.

          “NOOOOOO! MY GAME! At least I still have my memory card.”

          Nope.

          “NOOOOOO!”

Brick Throw: Take 3.

          The brick hits Luigi in the head.

          “…”

          “Luigi?”

          “…”

          “Oh no.”

Chapter 2

Outtakes

Goomba Attack: Take 1

          “We have you now!” the chief Goomba shouts. The chief continues, “And don’t think you can’t stomp on us just once to kill us! Cause you can! We are weak little buggers who-. Oh crud. Can we do this scene again?”

Goomba Attack: Take 2

          “ULTRA JUMP!” Mario jumps up high and comes down… onto the ground, hard.

          CRACK!

          “MY LEGS!”

Freaky Mushrooms: Take 1

          “I don’t like going here,” Luigi says, “All these people are freaky mushrooms! They are walking fungus with Polka-dots on their heads! They are the scum you find in your shower drain! They killed people in the X-Files! THEY ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. THE KINGDOM OF MUSHROOMS IS AT HAND!”

Chapter 3

Outtakes

Mario Trap: take 1

          While Mario and Luigi were talking to the toad/Koopa, another Koopa was spraying a bottle of ‘essence de la broccoli’ in a trail. Then Mario comes along, sniffs, and runs away screaming.

Mario Trap: Take 2

          He attempts to climb the tree but instead runs into the tree at full force and leaves an indentation of his face into the tree. Meanwhile, Luigi is having the best poker game of his life with the Piranha Plants.

Mario Trap: Take 3

          “Relax Luigi I know what to do (apparently, Mario has mood-swings). Don’t you remember that plants hate fire? ULTRA FLAME!”

          Mario shoots out his hands and fireballs the size of Mario shoot out from them, bounces off the ground, bounces off a tree, and then comes shooting towards Mario.

          “OH N-. AHHHHHHH!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!”

Chapter 4

Outtakes

Luigi Jump: Take 1

          So while Mario’s legs flail over the edge, Luigi jumps over the pit with ease, and lands on Mario’s fingers.

          “OH CRUD!”

          Mario hangs on for dear life with his other hand. But Luigi thinks the scene is over and sits down, on Mario’s other hand.

          “FOR THE LOVE THAT IS ALL HOLY AND SACRED! GET OFF!”

          “Get off? Get off what? Oh. Sorry.”

          “Wait a second… DON’T GET UP! DON’T GET UP!!!”

          Luigi gets up and Mario falls into the lava.

          “AHHHHHH!!! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!”

Bowser Down 1: Take 1

          With relative ease, Mario jumps over Bowser. Then Mario grabs the ax and cuts the rope that supports the bridge. However, Mario was still standing on the bridge…

          “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Toad 1: Take 1

          “Thank you for rescuing me, but our princess is in another castle.”

“THAT’S IT!” Mario yells.

“Thank you for rescuing me, but our prin…”

Mario lunges at the toad as hard as he can, but the toad sticks out is foot and does a karate chop to the back of Mario’s head. The toad then scoops his foot under Mario while he is on the ground, throws Mario up into the air, and does the Matrix style kick. The toad then looks at Luigi, who immediately runs away screaming.

Chapter 5

Outtakes

Toad-no-like: Take 1

. Mario sensing what Luigi is thinking says, “You may be happy that Michael has gone away, but we might have been able to find out where the next castle is. Also because these toads are so stupid, if we ask them about the castle’s whereabouts, then they will say something completely off of the topic. For example ‘where is the next castle?’ ‘If you ever get hurt then go to a toad house’. They are so f***ing annoying!”

“MARIO!!!”

“What?”

“YOU JUST SAID ****!!!”

“LUIGI! WHY ARE YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE?! THIS IS AN E RATED STORY!”

“DIE MARIO DIE!!! I’LL KILL YOU ******* HO!”

“YOU SON OF A *****! I’LL KILL YOU MOTHA *****!”

Mountain: Take 1

What’s that in the distance!”

“It’s a mole hill Mario. Don’t you even know what a mole hill is? You may not have one, but inside my head, there is something called a brain. You probably don’t have one. If you do then use it for at least once in your life.”

          “Well now, you obviously don’t use yours because that happens to be a mountain.”

          “Ohhhh… Ummm. Well… Yeah…”

Chapter 6

Outtakes

Mountain fall: Take one

          The Mario Bros start up the mountain. Because Mario is running to fast, he trips and rolls down the mountain. Luigi runs to the crippled Mario, or what is left of Mario, at the base of the mountain. Mario is a bloody mass.

          “Mario are you okay?”

          “Uhhhnn.”

          “Can I have your Game Boy Advance SP?”

          “UHHHNN!”

          “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Whacka: Take one.

“Look Mario! A Pokemon! It’s a Diglit! Gotta catch em all you know…” And with a psycho look in his eye, Luigi pulls out a Pokeball, prepared to catch the “Diglit”. But just as Luigi is about to throw the Pokeball, Mario stops him.

“Luigi, it’s a Whacka. They live on this mountain. But there are very few left because people keep whacking them to get a rare item, a Whacka Bump.” Mario says to Luigi.

          “Oh.”

          All of a sudden another thing that looks like a Whacka pops out of the ground. But this “Whacka” is brown…

          “Diglit!” The “Whacka” yelps.

          “IT’S A DIGLIT! PREPARE TO BE CAUGHT!”

          Luigi throws the Pokeball and catches the Diglit. Then a voice appears out of nowhere.

          “You have caught a Diglit! New Pokedex entry has been added!”

Dry Desert: take one.

“Need. Water. Now.” Luigi stammers. The plumbers have their heads down and are taking gasps of air.

          “Need… to… kill… Luigi… and… drink… his… blood…” Mario mutters.

Chapter 7

Outtakes

Wake Up Call: take 1

          Luigi tries to wake Mario up. “WAKE UP NOW!” he screams. Believe it or not, Mario didn’t wake up. Luigi pulls out a cell phone a dials a number. After talking for a while, he hangs up and the All American Rejects walk in. Luigi sets the speakers up right by Mario’s ears. They start playing “Swing Swing” and well, you can piece together what happens.

Toad From School: Take 1

“Hello and welcome to our toad house. Good thing that the traveling explorer, Kolarado, was out in that desert today. He found you there and well, here you are.” The toad finished.

“Hey” Mario asks, “Why aren’t you stupid like the other toads?”

          The Toad looks at them with glazed over eyes and starts drooling.

          “Toad?” Mario asks.

          “Durrrrr. I POOPIED MY PANTIES! BOOGER! FART! HEE HEE HEE!”

          “Let’s go Luigi.”

          “Let’s.”

Toad From School: Take 2

          “Hey” Mario asks, “Why aren’t you stupid like the other toads?”

          “I took drugs. It calms me dowdowdowdown. Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod! R-r-rush is comcomcomcomincoming! AHHHH!!! THEY’RE ALL OVER ME! DON’T YOU SEE THE LITTLE GREEN MEN TRYING TO EAT ME! DAHHHHHH!!!

          The toad screams and charges at the wall head first and KO’s himself.

Chapter 8

Outtakes

Trap: Take 1

          “Whatever. That’s what you said last time and nothing happened in the first room. What do you thinks gona happen? Do you think that when I step on the tile directly in front of my will activate a switch that releases a deadly trap such as huge swinging scythes that come down from the ceiling and try do decapitate us? Look I’ll show you.”

          Luigi takes a step on the tile in front of him. The tile sinks into the ground.

          “Uh-oh.” Luigi says.

          All of a sudden, TV screens pop out of every place possible and the source of all evil starts place. Yes, that’s right; the Tellitubies!

          “AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

Hat: Take 1

Luigi looks over Mario. Mario is holding the two pieces of his hat.

          “Why. Why did this happen?” Mario says with tears in his eyes. “We traveled on so many adventures together. I took care of you! Who was your aunt’s funeral? Who stayed beside your bed when you were sick! Me! Why did you let me down? Now let us part, forever…”

          “Aren’t you exaggerating Mario?”

          Mario looks at Luigi with his eyes wide open and a psycho smile. He pulls out an Uzi…

Trapped Luigi: Take 1

          But the moment Luigi steps into the boss room a huge wind blows from the right side of the room and hurls Luigi to the left side of the room. Luigi smashes into the wall and slides down it. He slides into quicksand and sinks until only his head remains above the surface. But he keeps on sinking. Then he is completely under the sand. Luigi’s cries from under the sand get fainter and fainter, until they finally stop. Mario starts dancing around the room singing, “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead”.

Bowser Down: Take 1

          Bowser starts walking with slow, heavy steps. He starts to move past Mario but then, Mario gets an idea. When Bowser is to the side of Mario, Mario turns towards Bowser and pushes him. Almost. He misses and falls into the quicksand. Bowser pulls Mario out.

          “Sorry, I missed.”

          “Awww. It’s okay pal.”

          “Thanks.”

          “Hey, after this, wanna go play a game of laser tag? My treat.”

          “I’d love to!”

Toad: Take 1

       The string binding the bag opens and out pops… a toad.

       “What is your name?”

       “What the?” Mario says.

       “Umm. Luigi?”

       “What is your quest.”

       “I seek the princess.”

       “What is average air-speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?”

       “Ah-. I don’t know that. AHHHHH!!!”

       Luigi is magically picked up and thrown into the quicksand.

Chapter 9

Outtakes

Scaredy Mario: Take 1

       “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! DON’T HURT ME! I’M TOO YOUNG TO FRY!” Mario screams.

       “Not really. By the looks of it, you’ve been eating a lot of fried stuff, especially Kentucky Fried Chicken. That’s why you’re so fat. You need to go on a diet.”

Scaredy Mario: Take 2

       “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! DON’T HURT ME! I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!” Mario screams.

       “No your not. You’re at least forty.”

       “Shut up.”

The Forest: Take 1

       The Mario Brothers go into the forest. The first fifteen minutes of walking are okay. The sun is still overhead, the trees are green, and there are cute little animals near the path. But then the trees start looking more old and withered. The branches on the trees are bare. Now there is very graphic road kill animals near on the path. Up ahead they see a rabbit racing a tortoise. A car comes along and squashes the bunny.

       “So that’s how the tortoise won…” Mario says thoughtfully.

Chapter 10

Outtakes

Gate: Take 1

       “Lack of budget.” Luigi whispers to Mario. Mario nods. Mario reaches towards the gate to open it, but the moment he touches it, squat happens. Mario starts pushing as hard as he can, but the gate won’t budge. He gets a chainsaw and tries to cut down the gate, but the chainsaw breaks the moment it hits the gate.

       “Lack of budget indeed.” Mario says as he falls to the ground exhausted.

Life’s tough: Take 1

       “Life’s tough, get a helmet.” Upon saying this Luigi “lightly” punches Mario on the top of his head. Luigi doesn’t know his own strength, and cracks Mario’s skull. His eyes pop out and he becomes unconscious.

Trap Door: Take 1

       “Well, what do we do now?” Mario says out loud.

       Nothing happens.

       “I said, what do we do now?”

       More nothingness happens.

       “I FREAKING SAID WHAT DO WE DO NOW!”

       He starts jumping up and down on the trap door. It won’t budge. Mario screams and runs out of the room.

Platforms: Take one

       While on the platforms, Mario turns to Luigi and says, “What causes these bubbles anyways?”

       Luigi looks to the right, and sees ten abnormally large Koopas drinking beer. Every time they burp, green bubbles come out of their mouth.

       “I dunno know.”

Bowser: Take one

       Bowser jumps up high and lands on the bridge. Nothing happens.

       “What the?” Mario says.

       “I’m going to inspect the bridge.” Bowser says.

       He walks over to the support beam and realizes that it hasn’t been cut.

       “I found the problem.”

       Mario looks up.

       “DON’T CUT IT!!!”

       Bowser cuts it and Mario goes for little fall.

Chapter 11

Outtakes

No tell: Take 1

       “Oy, Michael!” Mario yells.

       “What?”

       “Umm,” Luigi says, “could you tell us where the next castle is?”

       “No.”

       “WHAT?! BUT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TOO!”

       “So?”

       “So… so… forget it.” Mario walks away to the all-you-can-eat restaurant.

No tell: Take 2

       “Okay,” Mario says, “but there’s one teensy little problem… WE CAN’T BREATHE WHEN WE’RE IN WATER!”

       “So?”

       “HEY!”

Mario miss: Take 1

       Mario smacks his forehead. Almost. I don’t know how, but he misses his forehead and hits himself in the eye.

       “OWWWIEEE!”

       Luigi and Michael start laughing.

       “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

       “Then why are we laughing?”

Merlon: Take 1

       It is circular shaped and the only thing in it is a table and a crystal ball. Merlon is at the table playing craps with a stuffed Animal. He is betting and rolling for him too.

       “I guess stress got the better of him.” Mario says as they slowly walk out the door.

Chapter 12

Outtakes

       Sorry, but there are no more outtakes. The director yelled at Mario and Luigi that if they messed up one more time, they would die one thousand painful deaths. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Chapter 27

End

I know you don’t want this to be over. You want just a little more to read, huh? Welll, I won’t disappoint you. There’s just a little bit more to read; a teaser for the second Mario Story. If you’re dieing to know the title, here it is…

The Mario Story 2: Darkness in Delfino

You probably shouldn’t known the title by now, considering I’ve put up some ads. So without further ado, here it is, the first chapter of the second Mario Story…

Chapter 1

Home Again

          SLAM! Luigi enters the house and collapses on the couch. Mario is at TV, playing Gamecube.

          “Not so easy is it.” Mario says.

          “How in the world do you do it?” Luigi asks as he grabs a soda from Mario’s “secret” stash. “You’re so fat! I’m in much better shape than you!”

          “I’M NOT FAT! I’M BIG BONED!”

          “But I thought that you wanted to be fat. Remember the last adventure.”

          “That was then, this is now.”

          “You go ahead and tell yourself that.

          “Okaaay. Then I guess you don’t want to see my seeecrrreet.”

          “What is it.

          “Take back what you said.”

          “(sigh) Fine. I’m sorry.”

          “Okay.”

          Mario holds up two plane tickets.

          “We’re going on a vacation!”

          “You’re joking. Let me see those.”

          Luigi grabs the tickets and tests them with his vacation plane ticket tester that he got by sending in proof-of-purchases. They’re real. Even better yet, they’re plane tickets to go to the island of Delfino, the most relaxing place on earth (kind of).

          “How on mushroom kingdom did you get these.”

          “Your “secret” stash of money.”

          “Oh. WAIT A MINUTE!”

          A brief food-fight followed until Luigi threw an Olive into Mario’s eye.

The Next Day…

          Mario and Luigi arrive at the airport. Luigi is surprised to see that Peach is also there.

          “Hello Peach. I didn’t know that you were coming.”

          “Hello Luigi. I haven’t thanked you enough for rescuing me. Here, take this.”

          Peach hands Luigi some Gas-X.

          “?”

          “Mario said that you’d like this.”

          Luigi turns to Mario and gives him…

Pure Evil Stare of Death!

       Mario shudders.

       “Did you get anything for me Peach?” Mario asks.

       “Ummm. You already got your reward.”

       “When?”

       “We’ve got to go.”        

       They talk for a bit longer, then head over to Peach’s privet jet. They reach security. Peach walks through without any problem. Same with Luigi. Mario sets it off, but keeps walking. Security immediately tackles Mario and gives him a personal search. They find a couple coins, a safety pin, a hand grenade, Excalibur, a paper clip, the Holy Grail, a piece of the True Cross, Soul Edge, the Ring made by Souron, Soul Caliber, The Master Sword, Harry Potter’s wand, and a rubber duck. Peach uses her amazing diplomacy and makes the security let Mario through. They stop to get a four Cinnabuns (Mario complained that their wasn’t enough frosting on the first one), then finally reach their Gate, number 27.

       “Wow,” Luigi says as he looks at the plane, “it’s so small, and so pink.”

       “Your favorite color Luigi.” Mario says.

       Luigi glares at Mario. Mario shudders and looks over at another gate and sees someone familiar sitting in one of the seats.

       “Hey Luigi, isn’t that that stupid writer Michael?”

       Michael looks up, grins evilly, and writes something down on his notepad. Mario’s rubber chicken comes alive and starts attacking Mario. Security comes and tackles Mario, shoots the rubber chicken, and then takes Mario’s hat. Mario starts crying. He then goes over to a vending machine, and inputs the number AA-24. A hat pops out of the machine.

       “How’d that vending machine get there?” Luigi asks.

       “What vending machine?” Mario replies.

       The vending machine had vanished.

       “Spooky.” Peach says.

       “Very spooky.”

       Mario leaves the vending machine (that doesn’t exist) and goes over to the phones.

       “What are you doing!? We’re boarding in five minutes!”

       “Hold on just a sec, I just need to make a quick phone call.”

       Mario looks over at the phones to see ET making a phone call home.

       “Then again…”

       A voice sounds over the intercom.

       “Now boarding flight TK-427, all passengers get on board or slowly die one thousand painful deaths. Thank you.”

       They all board the plane. The safety video thing goes on in the plane, but Mario turns it to the Mushroom Bowl XXV, Fearsome Goombas VS the Dive-bombing Paratroopas. Peach slaps Mario, and changes it to the Dollies with Ashley and Kate. Luigi pokes them both, then changes it to Plant Life with Ms. Spore. A flight attendant comes, punches all three of them, and puts the safety video back on. All three punch the flight attendant and put on Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

       When they are about fifteen minutes away from Delfino, a video plays. The island inhabitants are talking about the sun-drenched island of Delfino. It’s great five-star resort hotels, it’s amusement parks, and it’s succulent seafood. Mario starts drooling at the sound of seafood. Luigi starts drooling at the sound of amusement parks. Peach gives an excited squeak (You didn’t think she would drool, did you?) at the sound of the hotels. Peach notices something strange though. In the background of the video, there is a figure that looks exactly like Mario, but it is shadowy and watery.

       “Mario? Luigi?” Peach asks. They both just sit there and drool.

       The video shuts off and Luigi looks out of the window to see a disturbing sight. There is goop all over the runway. A toad gets sucked into it because he thought it was Jell-O. The rest of the toads jump in to “go for a swim”, then start screaming for help.

       “Mario, don’t you think that it is odd that that there is goop all over the runway and that a toad gets sucked into it because he thought it was Jell-O and also that then rest of the toads jump in to “go for a swim”, then start screaming for help?”

       “No.”

       “Don’t you find it odd that Jason and the Argonauts are fighting skeletons?”

       “Not at all.”

       “Don’t you find it odd that Elvis Presley is doing a performance and has just been abducted by aliens?”

       “WHERE!” Mario screams as he tries to get a better look.

       A voice sounds over the speaker.

       “Ladies and Gentlemen, due to “technical” problems, we are unable to land on the runway, prepare for a crash landing…”

Every book is a different adventure. But now, this one ends.

 The End