Mario
interviews Tetraforce
(5 minutes before the
show…)
(Tetraforce is backstage,
drinking hot chocolate with three bags of hot chocolate mix in it.)
Tetraforce: I love hot
chocolate! Not as much as baguettes though!
(Tetraforce opens oven and
pulls out a baguette. He starts taking huge bites out of it. Tetraforce looks
down at the question sheet on the table.)
Tetraforce: What kind of
questions are these? “What is your real name?”. I don’t get it!
(Kooper walks in and takes
the question sheet and gives them to Mario.)
Tetraforce: Kooper, what are
you doing? Those are the questions for the interview. I’m the interviewer. I
need those questions.
Kooper: No ya don’t.
Tetraforce: And why not?
Kooper: Cause you’re not
the interviewer.
Tetraforce: WHAT! BUT I HAVE
TO BE THE INTERVIEWER! IT’S MY JOB!
Kooper: You’re not the
interviewer, you’re the interviewee!
Tetraforce: WHAT!
Kooper: Mario is
interviewing you.
Tetraforce: WHAT!
Kooper: Stop saying what!
Wait for your cue, then you go out and sit in, the chair.
(You hear clapping and then
Kooper tells Tetraforce to go out. Tetraforce is met by the applaud of the all
so familiar audience.)
Tetraforce: Thank y-.
(Mario gives Tetraforce the
“Shh” sign. Tetraforce takes a seat in, the
chair.
Mario: Thanks for being here
today.
Tetraforce: I WAS ALREADY
HERE!
Mario: Shut up. The first
question is: How is it to manage running this site, writing interviews, writing
the story, fixing problems with this site, and trying to get the Star Wars
Fights up?
Tetraforce: Well, you see,
it’s pretty hard. Right now I’m going through a very major problem, the
music doesn’t work. It’s pretty tough doing all this stuff.
Mario: For the next
question, try to make the answer a little longer.
Tetraforce: WHEN I
INTERVIEWED YOU YOUR ANSWER WAS “You’re thinking of the movie huh? One word:
acting.”
Mario: What do you have
against Jedi Knight?
Tetraforce: Nothing.
Mario: What? But you
constantly dis him!
Tetraforce: I’m friends
with him, I just tease him.
Jedi Knight: (from audience)
I shall kill him! I shall kill them all! EEEEE HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
(Jedi Knight leaves…)
Tetraforce: Whatever.
Mario: Next question: What
is your real name?
Tetraforce: Michael.
Mario: HA! Now you have the
shortest answer ever!
Tetraforce: OH YEAH!
What’s your first name?
Mario: Mario.
Tetraforce: HA! YOUR ANSWER
WAS TWO LETTERS SHORTER THAN MINE!
Mario: Crud. Anyway, which
one is your favorite interview?
Tetraforce: Let me think…
I don’t have a favorite.
Mario: Okay: What’s your
obsession with the number 27?
Tetraforce: 27 is the answer
to life, the universe, and to everything. Actually it’s an inside joke. In
math class, whenever I heard anyone ask somebody what the answer to their math
problem was, I said 27. Then it turned into an obsession.
Mario: Now this question is
a three in one: What is your height, weight, and age?
Tetraforce: I don’t know,
wouldn’t you like to know, and 12,
turning thirteen on March 8.
Mario: But on your bio you
said your height and weight.
Tetraforce: If you read the
bio why did you ask?
Mario: Because the people in
the audience don’t know!
Tetraforce: On the bio, I
guessed about my height and lied about my weight.
Mario: Then what is your
weight?
Tetraforce: I’m not
telling!
Luigi: (from audience) I
KNOW! I KNOW! HE WEIGHS…
(Tetraforce gets out a
tranquilizer gun and shoots Luigi.)
Tetraforce: Right in the
neck!
(Luigi falls on the ground.)
Tetraforce: Boy will he be
mad when he wakes up.
Mario: Let’s not think
about it. Next Q: Why isn’t your name Mario oriented.
Tetraforce: Can you think of
a good Mario name?
Mario: Mario.
Tetraforce: Idiot. I had
already used Tetraforce before and hey! It’s a good name, isn’t it?
Mario: I think it’s a
great name. By the way, do you have any food, I’m hungry.
Tetraforce: No I don’t
have food.
Moron: Let’s continue with
the que-. HEY! YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG!
Tetraforce: No I didn’t.
Mo-, I mean, Mario: Very
funny.
Tetraforce: It is, isn’t
it.
Mario: I’m just not
getting to you, maybe the audience can! Seat 83.
Heavy Troopa: I have a
question…
Tetraforce: NO! NO! NO!
YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG! YOU CALL ON BOWSER FIRST! THE THIRD PERSON YOU CALL
ON IS GOOMBA! AND THE LAST ONE IS SEAT 27!!!
Mario: Gosh, chill out. Seat
58.
Bowser: Are you every going
to interview Link since your name is Zelda oriented?
Tetraforce: Sadly, he
isn’t a Mario character so no.
Mario: SADLY! HA! Not only
is he a cross dresser, but he’s a schitso!
Link: (from audience) No
I’m not, and neither am I!
(Link leaves).
Mario: Seat 93.
Bonzi Bill: What the heck is
a Tetraforce anyways?
Tetraforce: The Tetraforce
is the rumored fourth piece of the Triforce. I can use this name and nobody else
will have it, plus it sounds cool.
Bonzi Bill: Is there a story
behind the name Tetraforce?
Tetraforce: Yes. A while
ago, I was giving Jedi Knight Nintendo stuff I found on the web. I made a cool
CD cover and back cover. I made another back cover, but it wasn’t that good.
But at the bottom of that rejected back cover, I wrote the name “Tetraforce”
as my name. So when I thought of a name, that was the first thing that came to
mind.
Mario: Seat 7.
Goomba: (takes a deep
breath).
Tetraforce: DON’T EVEN
START IT!
Goomba: Fine, I’ve noticed
that your first interviews relied more on facts, long answers, and sanity. But
now your interviews are crazy and something is always happening. Why did you
change?
Tetraforce: Because the
Mario interview was my first interview and I was testing things out, now I’m
more comfortable with my interviews so I’m getting a bit crazier in my
interviews.
Mario: Seat 65.
Boo: I heard from somebody
that you are not aware of what you write. Is that so?
Tetraforce: Yes. It’s kind
of weird because I’m typing and I’m aware I’m typing, but when I read it
later, I’m surprised I wrote that and don’t remember writing it.
Mario: That has got to be a
record; four “I’m”s in one sentence!
Tetraforce: Just get on with
the questioning.
Mario: Right. Seat 27.
Master Hand: I have a
question for you. A-.
Tetraforce: How did you fit in the seating area? You’re to darn huge!
Master Hand: Because I’m
the Master!
Tetraforce: Sure you are.
Master Hand: Are you human?
Tetraforce: Gee, I wonder…
Mario: That’s all the time
we have for today. Thanks for being here Tetraforce.
Tetraforce: Don’t make me
do this again.
(Tetraforce leaves.)
Mario: Come in next time
when I, I mean, Tetraforce interviews… somebody!
End
Transmition