Tetraforce
interviews Yoshi
(Five minutes before the
show…)
(Just to tell you, Gourmet
Guy just joined the “Tetraforce’s Interviews” company…)
Tetraforce: ALL RIGHT! WHO ATE
THE ENTIRE SNACK TABLE!
(Gourmet Guy walks over to Tetraforce)
Gourmet Guy: Maybe your
interviewee ate it. You know, Yoshi.
Tetraforce: Yeah, you’re
probably rig-. WHY IS THERE CHOCOLATE ON YOUR FACE!
Gourmet Guy: What chocolate?
Tetraforce: (sigh) I guess
it’s all right. This is your first
day after all. Just try not to do it in the furt-. YOU ATE THE CROISSANTS TOO?
YOU SHALL DIE, FAT MAN!
Gourmet Guy: EEEP!
(Gourmet Guy runs out the
back door.)
(Kooper walks in.)
Kooper: Guess what Tetraforce?
Tetraforce: Showtime?
Kooper: Showtime.
(Tetraforce walks onstage. The
crowd is clapping, cheering, whistling, and mooning. Those that are mooning are
taken outside to “discuss” it with a hammer bro.)
Tetraforce: Thank you!
(Tetraforce takes his seat.
Well, at least he tries to. His seat is gone. So he falls on the floor.)
Tetraforce: DOH!
Homer Simpson: I’m going
to sue you too. Wait, what was I doing again? Doh!
Mr. Burns: I’ll sue you
too, even though I’m a billionaire. I just like to see other people loose
money and suffer. This will be… excellent.
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody.
Entire audience: Hi Dr.
Nick!
Dr. Nick: I’m also gonna
sue you too!
Tetraforce: Whatever. Anyway,
today I will interview… Yoshi!
(Yoshi walks onstage)
Tetraforce: Hello, Yoshi!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Tetraforce: This isn’t a
Nintendo game.
Yoshi: Yoshi happy now!
Tetraforce: And this isn’t an
interview at Lemmy’s Land.
Yoshi: WAHOO!
Tetraforce: Oh, and by the way.
You may have noticed that in the past interviews, I asked the interviewee only
four questions. Well guess what? I get to ask as many questions as I want!
Yoshi: So, are you going to
start asking questions.
Tetraforce: Oh! Sorry. Yoshi,
my first question for you is: Where are you from?
Yoshi: Yoshi’s island.
Tetraforce: Ok. I know that
blue Yoshis can fly, yellows can stomp, reds can spit fire, and greens are
neutral, but what about all the other colors.
Yoshi: You’ve played Super
Mario World 2 and Yoshi’s Story, haven’t you?
Tetraforce: You bet.
Yoshi: They don’t have any
power at all.
Tetraforce: Okay. Now for those
of you who are reading this, what color are you?
Yoshi: Green.
Tetraforce: Does eating enemies
hurt you at all?
Yoshi: No. When I swallow
them, my throat expands. Also, to hold more enemies, my stomach also expands.
Tetraforce: Cool. Now, in SSMB,
when you swallow someone, they come out as an egg quickly. But they also get
hurt. Why?
Yoshi: I have very strong
throat muscles which pushes them pass my stomach acid. To answer your second
question, even though my throat muscles do push them pass the acid, some acid
gets on them and that hurts them.
Tetraforce: Another question
about SSMB; how do you keep ground pounding and still have your spine intact?
Yoshi: Yoshis have a unique
spine. It is firm and flexible so that when I smash against the ground, my spine
bends so it doesn’t break.
Tetraforce: I see. Next Q; Do
you like Mario, Luigi and Peach?
Yoshi: I like them all.
Mario the best, then Peach, then Luigi. Mario is really nice. He takes care of
me. Peach is nice. Luigi is okay.
Tetraforce: But why did you say
different stuff in the other interviews?
Yoshi: BECAUSE I WAS ON A
SCRIPT!
Tetraforce: Okay. Next Q. I
have heard that Yoshis will eat about anything, even if it isn’t food. Is that
true?
Yoshi: Yes.
Tetraforce: Questions from the
audience. Seat 93.
Bowser: You can’t eat me,
can you?
Yoshi: No.
Bowser: YES!
Tetraforce: Next question from
seat 3.
Goomba: Awww. Now I’m
moving down in rank.
Tetraforce: YOU ARE SO FREAKING
ANNOYING!
Yoshi: I’ll take care of
him.
(Yoshi eats the Goomba)
Tetraforce: Right. Next Q from
seat 39.
Cheep-cheep: How long is
your tongue?
Yoshi: Three feet.
Tetraforce: WOW! Next
Q from you in seat 32.
Spiney: How much do you
weigh?
Yoshi: 57 pounds.
Tetraforce: I thought you would
weigh more. Oh well. Final question from seat 27.
Jedi Knight: I have a question
for you…
Tetraforce: HOW’D YOU GET IN
HERE AGAIN!
Jedi Knight: If you say I’m not
a Nintendo character again, I have something to say to you… YOU’RE NOT A
NINTENDO CHARACTER EITHER!
Tetraforce: No. But I play
Nintendo, and you don’t. See ya.
(The hammer bro drags Jedi Knight out of the studio.)
Jedi Knight: YOU SHALL PAY!
Tetraforce: Ya right. Anyway,
thanks for being here.
Yoshi: Thank you for
inviting me.
(Yoshi leaves.)
Tetraforce: See you next time
when I interview… WHAT?! KING BOWSER?!
End Transmission!