Chapter
17
Into
the Volcano
The first thing that Mario and
Luigi notice is the intense heat. The only thing that is preventing the bros
from frying is their clothes. If they could repel water, why not fire? There is
lava everywhere. Even the stones they walk on are scorching. They are so hot you
could fry an egg, which some troops did because there are eggs and bacon frying
on one of the stones. Mario goes over to them and eats them. The Mario brothers
go into the next room and find a huge lava pit. The door to the next room is at
the end of the lava pit.
“Oh great.” Luigi says. “Now how are we going
to get across?”
“Our clothes are fire proof, so I’ll just walk
across.”
“NO MARIO!”
“Why?”
“Because
they are heat resistant, not lava proof. But go ahead and walk across. After
all, your will says that I get all of your possessions.”
“Shut it.”
“Wait a minute. That gave me an idea that is
totally unrelated. Look up.”
Mario looks up and sees big stalactites.
“So?”
“So I can throw something at them, then they will
fall allowing us to get across!”
Luigi throws a coin at the stalactite, which does
indeed fall into the lava. The stalactite however just makes a big splash and
hits the floor (the lava pit isn’t very deep. Then it just melts.
“That’s odd,” Luigi says. “It works in
other games.”
The big splash that the stalactite caused the lava
to hit Mario’s hat, which lights it on fire. He runs around screaming for a
while until his hat burns up.
“NOOOOOOO! I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE HATS!”
“But I saw you pack three hats.”
“THOSE WERE METAL CAPS YOU FOOL!”
“Metal Caps! That’s it! We need to put on the
metal caps and walk across!”
They then do just that. Then the metal caps wear
off and Mario gets sad because he doesn’t have a hat. Oddly enough, he finds a
costume shop where he buys three Mario hats. They continue on uneventfully (if
you are wondering why it is uneventful, it is because Bowser didn’t expect
them to get past the first room). The Mario brothers finally find the boss door.
“Hey Mario,” Luigi says, “Let’s go in
together this time, me on the left, you on the right.”
“Okay, I guess.”
The Mario brothers go in together. Luigi thinks
that he will finally be able to fight a boss. All of a sudden, a stalactite
falls from the ceiling and the Mario Bros have to separate. While they are
separated, a wall of flames jets up in front of Luigi.
“ARRRRRRRRRRGH! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO
ME! DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?! DO I HAVE BAD BREATH?!”
“Can
it Luigi.”
“BWA HA HA HA HA!”
“Who was that?”
“I DON’T KNOW BUT I AM REEEALY ANGRY!”
Bowser appears and begins to speak.
“Are you that stupid!? Who else has a laugh like
that?”
“Nearly every villain.”
“Whatever. Now it’s time to take a step back in
time. You may not remember the old RPG’s, but I do! I thought that I should
revive it.”
All of a sudden, message boxes start popping up.
“Let the battle began!” Bowser says with an
evil smile.
“Witch Appears!” One of the boxes read. In
another box, a witch appears.
“Witch attacks first! Witch uses “Ice
Blast”!”
The witch fires a blue orb at Mario, who dodges.
“Mario Dodges attack! Mario’s turn to
attack!”
“MARIO!” Luigi yells. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR?! PUNCH HIM!”
Mario gets right next to the witch and is about to
punch him, but instead let’s out a huge burp.
“Mario uses “Belch”! CRITICAL HIT! Witch is
Defeated!”
“YAHOO!” Mario yells.
“Slime Appears!”
“HUH?!”
“Mario Attacks first”
Mario laughs evilly as he pulls out a bottle of…
salt. He then pours it on the slime.
“Mario uses “Salt”! CRITICAL HIT! Slime is
Defeated! Red Dragon Appears! Red Dragon Attacks first. Red Dragon uses “Claw
Shooter”!”
The Red Dragon’s claws shoot out and Mario ducks
just in time.
“Mario dodges the Attack! Mario’s turn to
attack!”
Mario pulls out a bag of popcorn kernels and throws
it into the Red Dragon’s Mouth.
“Mario uses “Popcorn”! NO EFFECT! Red
Dragon’s turn to attack! Red Dragon uses “Flame Breath”!”
The Red Dragon prepares to spew up some fire, but
the popcorn kernels inside the Red Dragon start popping and the Red Dragon
suffocates. He passes out and falls on top of Bowser, and then the sheer weight
of both of them makes them fall through the floor. Luigi is released and the bag
appears. Mario starts beating it with a stick until it stops moving.
Mario carries the bag back to the lava pit room and opens the bag. He gets a running start, then jumps in the lava with the toad, using him as a wakeboard. When he gets to the other side, he passes the toad back to Luigi. Luigi then does the same thing to get across. They go back to the village, thank the elder for his help, get on the whale and go back to Toad Town to look for the next castle…